“Conversation is a meeting of minds with different memories and habits. When minds meet, they don’t just exchange facts: they transform them, reshape them, draw different implications from them and engage in new trains of thought. Conversation doesn’t just reshuffle the cards: it creates new cards.” — Theodore Zeldin

Recently, I came across a news article about a Bangalorean who shared the video of his grandmother’s first interaction with ChatGPT Voice — and it struck a chord with many. But somehow, I felt that the very question which she would have liked to ask the young man directly, the grandma asked AI; why?

In another video, a son records himself wishing his mother “Happy Mother’s Day” so that he may share it on social media. The mother’s response, however, is heart breaking. She asks her son to install Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and other apps on her mobile so she can talk to him. Just so that she can connect with him, she is prepared to learn to use these social media platforms.

With everyone so busy in their daily schedule these days, we rarely have time to talk to family members or elders, who would be naturally more inclined to listen to us and offer solutions. Instead, we listen to our phones, talk to SIRI/ALEXA, look up answers on Google, and live our lives according to the rules set by the digital world.

Even while commuting, one can observe people so very engrossed in their devices that they rarely pay attention to all that is happening around them – this happens even as they are crossing the streets – which can lead to accidents. In local trains, people place their body weight on another person, leaving their hands to type on WhatsApp or scroll through reels. Is this what life has come to?

The increasing prevalence of social media has regrettably resulted in young individuals potentially lacking the essential communication skills required for successful face-to-face interactions. The allure and convenience of online communication may very well contribute to a decline in practising interpersonal communication. In the long run, this could lead to social isolation and loneliness, which can significantly impact a person’s mental and physical health as well as their quality of life – making them major health concerns.

Conversation is the most human characteristic we all possess. Dialogue represents one of the most quintessential aspects of our humanity. It is within this exchange that empathy is cultivated, as eye contact fosters comprehension, allowing us to gain profound insights into what the other person is thinking. Through conversation, we not only discover the intricacies of those around us but also deepen our understanding of ourselves.

Effective communication is essential across all aspects of life, encompassing both personal and professional spheres. Proficient communication skills, such as engaging in conversations, allow us to understand others and articulate our thoughts clearly, facilitating the exchange of information.

The advantages of being present in person cannot be overstated. For families, the crucial initial step is to make an effort to be physically and emotionally available for loved ones as frequently as possible. This presence can significantly impact an individual’s health and overall well-being. Engaging in storytelling and discussing daily experiences over a nutritious meal serves as a powerful means of connection. Sharing meals with family or friends enhances the dining experience, making it more rewarding. Many individuals assert that meals are more enjoyable when shared, and research suggests that those who dine together tend to eat at a slower pace and opt for healthier choices compared to those who eat alone.

Remember that healthy conversation is a two-way street. Learn to practice active listening. Be receptive and open to hearing what the other person has to say. In almost every field of life, wherever we’re working, living and existing, conversation is undeniably a huge part of everyday life. No matter whether you are studying or working, conversation can aid you to build a relationship with the people.

It can be challenging to care for and communicate with elderly people, but we need to understand that effective communication is crucial for preserving a positive attitude and fostering positive interpersonal interactions in addition to lowering miscommunications, disputes, and stress when interacting with seniors. Communicate with kindness and invest yourself in the conversation.

Let me share with you a personal experience of mine. As part of my daily ritual, I spend some time after dinner walking around my building premises. One day, I noticed an 80+ year old lady sitting on the bench. She would simply stare at the people passing by without saying anything. I initially thought she was waiting for someone to join her.  One day, I smiled at her and then from that day onwards, made it a point to smile at her every single time I passed her by. After a few days, she began to smile back, and a week later, we began to exchange pleasantries. Slowly but surely, we started to converse.

She told me about how she used to live in a different area, and how her only son, who now lived overseas with his wife and seven-year-old kid, had bought her a new house. She was a widow, and her son made it a point to phone her once a week to check on her health and other matters. She would insist her son keep the calls brief as she was worried about the charges for international calls.

Over time, I started identifying conversation starters and we would soon engage in deep conversations. She started waiting anxiously for my arrival every day and would animatedly fill me in on her day’s activities once I would reach. As days went by, a few more senior ladies joined us. I started seeing a visible difference on her countenance – she was more relaxed, happy and confident.  I would start a conversation, and the ladies would jump right into it. Slowly, I realized that our relationship had deepened and that everyone was eager to share their ideas and experiences. And it was not just a one-way street – over time, I found them to be a source of comfort and support whenever I needed assistance.

My life is a lot richer now with these relationships and bonds I have formed – to think that all it started with was me choosing to smile at one senior citizen instead of looking through her or averting my gaze.

I encourage you to initiate a conversation with someone you don’t know. This small act of kindness could brighten their day and contribute to a more connected and accepting world.

About Rati Nair:

A BCAS staffer since 2013, Rati enjoys interacting with people because she believes it broadens her perspective and how she approaches others. In her spare time, she enjoys playing games, singing, and taking quizzes with her children. Her house is lively and provides many opportunities to engage with others more as a result. Being surrounded by teenagers and seniors all the time, Rati listens to and comprehends them. Although conscious of life’s stressors and challenges, she likes to stay upbeat, creative, modest, soft-spoken, and youthful at heart. She has a deep love for music, painting, cooking, and gardening. She prefers to live simply and modestly while still enjoying life to the fullest.

Rati can be reached at prakash.rati@gmail.com