I was born into an extremely modest Maharashtrian Brahmin family in the late 40s. We had a reasonably good upbringing, and yet, we knew no pampering or luxuries. I am the second of five children. By God’s grace, all of us were good at studies. I always maintained the 1st rank in everything – be it academics, sports, debating and other extracurricular activities.
I went to the corporation’s primary school in Nagpur. The school had just 5 rooms – 1 classroom each for standards 1 to 4 and a staffroom for the teachers – and a veranda. There was a big open space for us to play. Primary education was free for all – children came from all walks of life – many were from hutments, and others were from modest homes, like us. None of us wore a school uniform – in fact, half the children did not even have proper clothes to wear. None of us wore shoes or chappals. But what we lacked in infrastructure, clothing, etc, we more than made up when it came to our teachers. By God’s grace, they were an extremely dedicated lot.
I have the fondest memories of the annual event “Education Week” – children from all the corporation schools came together to compete – in sports, dance, drama, rhythmic march, painting, singing, handicrafts, etc. Our school won lots of prizes – I won several prizes in running and handicraft.
In the 4th standard, the final examinations were held at a district level. Imagine my thrill when I stood first in the Nagpur District and was awarded a shining brass tea kettle in recognition of my academic achievements!
I then enrolled into a secondary school where I studied till 11th grade – the school fee was Rs. 7 per month for my elder sister and me! I always stood first. In secondary school too, we had an annual gathering which featured many competitions. Once a year, we celebrated ‘Local Self Government’ – we children would ‘run’ government departments, take on the role of teachers and teach the lower classes. I taught mathematics and physics and would get the first prize.
Our principal encouraged students to set up and direct dances, dramas, mimicries, etc. I loved to sing and dance. In 9th standard, I choreographed a dance on an Adivasi song which I had heard at another function. I procured the song (remember those days, we didn’t have the likes of Spotify, Saregama, or even cassettes or vinyl records, for that matter). Imagine my delight when I secured the first prize as a dance director! I won a lot of prizes in both sports and debates. I recollect a JAM (just a minute) session, where we had to pick up a chit and speak on the topic written on it – for one full minute. I remember one of the topics – “When I was on the top of Kutub Minar”. My imagination went wild – I had known the Kutub Minar only in pictures and stories. Nevertheless, I won a prize for my narration.
I always thank my schoolteachers for all that I am today, for instilling in me the courage to take my decisions and live independently. They used to care for us like their own children. I remember I was (and still am) scared of the needle. Once, anti-cholera injections were given to us in school. As usual, I fainted and one of our schoolteachers brought me home on his bicycle.
Right from a young age, I have been different – I have always had a subtle philosophical bent of mind. I wanted to be independent and work on my own terms. I very much wanted to join the military services, but in those days, girls were not enlisted into the military, except as nurses, I think. And Biology was a subject I disliked. So, I decided to join the Engineering College and become a civil engineer. I had no encouragement from home. In fact, I had to literally fight with my family their only comment was, “Engineering is not for girls”.
The engineering college experience was like no other. In the first two years, our college was housed in the local polytechnic, since there was no separate building. We had a barrack-like shed as our classroom. In the third year, we shifted to the newly constructed college building.
We were 21 students in our class, and there were only four girls in the whole of the college – two were in the civil engineering stream and 2 in the electrical engineering stream. There was no separate washroom for the girls, and we used the principal’s washroom for the first six months after which we finally got our ‘Ladies Washroom’. By then, we also had one lady lecturer though she taught in the electrical stream.
My father bought me a bicycle, and I cycled daily around 12 kilometres to and fro. I would get pocket money of Rs. 2 per month. This was meant to take care of a punctured tyre or getting air filled – it was not meant to be spent on eating out or roaming around. I did play sports for some time – hockey and kho-kho were my favourites. But I could not pursue them for long due to the burden of studies with no time for practice.
I completed my graduation, after that, my post-graduation and then one more post-graduation. I took up a job and even changed a couple of them (something unheard of in those days when normally, people would remain wedded to their (first) job right up to the age of retirement!).
Along the way, I met the love of my life. Unfortunately, my husband passed away very young. Then began the real challenge of my life – I had two boys to bring up. His family members were very cooperative and kind. But I decided that I would not give into self-pity and cry. The boys finished schooling. Those days, computer science was a new and promising stream. Both the boys opted for it and successfully completed their studies.
They then left for the USA for employment. I did get encouragement and some financial help from the extended family to send them there. I made it very clear to my children – from now on, they should take care of themselves, and I would take care of my own needs.
The boys got married and are both well settled and successful in Hawaii, which is known as a tropical paradise – for its clear blue water, green mountains and warm weather. I did visit them a couple of times. Everybody thought that I would settle in Hawaii. But I did not like the life there. I did not know either the place or the people around. Personally, I do not care much for a glamorous life. It felt like a five-star jail. I was neither impressed with the sea-kissed beaches, hotels nor with the so-called comfortable life. I did not want to take on the role of a help around the house. I made it very clear to my children – I had given them the best of my time to help them stand on their own feet – I now wanted time for myself. I had looked after them, I would not look after their children. I wanted to be independent.
I came back to in Delhi – in a dire need of a job. While working, I pursued many activities; I love sports – so I joined swimming. I visited all the good libraries in Delhi – like the British Council Library, American Library, Sapru House, Max Mueller Bhavan, etc. I was equally fond of knitting, painting, etc.
I am aware of the advantages and disadvantages of staying alone. After all, one day or the other, each of us is going to be alone. Now I have all the time in the world for myself. I love attending lectures, music programs, theatre, spiritual programs, etc. I do not take any money from my children – I love my simple, ordinary life. I love my independence. I am also learning the German language, and I attend spiritual classes – both online and some in-person.
I do not have too many friends, but I have a few good friends. I feel happy with them. I am fond of travelling. I go for forest walks, bird-watching tours, treks, sight-seeing trips. Some of the most thrilling treks I have done are the Everest base Camp from Nepal and Tibet side, Annapurna Base Camp, Zanskar Valley (Chadar Trek), Spiti Lahul Valley – Suryatal and Chandratal lakes, Kailash Manasarovar, Adi Kailash, Bhimtal, and many treks in Maharashtra – I was over the age of fifty when I did all these.
Not one to take the spotlight, I prefer to stay behind-the-scenes. At the same time, I am dead against injustice, lies, wrong behaviour, cheating and many wrongs that we see day in and day out. When necessary, I speak out my mind – loud and clear, whether it makes any difference or not.
Of course, our elders (parents, uncles, aunts, etc.) are no more. All my first cousins too are gone. The generation after me is different. I come down to Mumbai once a year to participate in the annual marathon. I now spend a greater part of the year in Nagpur in my maternal home – in familiar surroundings, with people I have known my entire life. I have no regrets. I do not waste time on memories. I look at each dawn as a gift – I live it. I thank God for everything, for guiding me through the most testing times of my life. I pray for everybody, truly, for everybody.
About Meera Poflee:
An avid trekker, wildlife enthusiast and adventure lover, Meera is a strong believer of the maxim “Age is but a number”. She loves to set personal targets for herself. She keeps herself updated on all advancements related to civil engineering. She studies the Bhagvad Gita with equal vigour and applies the teachings in her day-to-day life. She can be reached at meera.p.p@gmail.com
