Year: 2023

A new drug has recently been making its way around town, turning its consumers into addicts. After enslaving the adult population, it has now turned its attention towards the younger generation. Do you know what I’m talking about? It’s nothing but smartphone addiction.

It all began with the empty swings in the park. The playground is now less crowded than it used to be. COVID-19 had a definite impact, but our children have not ventured outside their homes even after COVID-19. Why should they when they have their friend Mr. Ring-Ring at home?

To keep the kids entertained, we’ve designed their lives so that they can’t eat without watching a YouTube video or sleep without playing a mobile game. Worse, children now have access to the internet and the dark corners of social media, where they are exposed to inappropriate content for their age. Are we denying our children the opportunity to experience childhood?

With so much dependence on smartphones, we are raising an army of human robots devoid of human touch, healthy lifestyles, emotions, and feelings. They turn out to be overly smart, dishonest, selfish, and competitive, with little or no regard for the well-being of others. But are they the ones to blame?

Children follow in the footsteps of their elders. But what can be done when the older generation themselves, cannot live without their smart toys?

This reminds me of a recent conversation I came to know about –
M – Rahul!!! Finished dinner?
R – Not yet Mom.
M – Look at the time. What are you up to now?
R – I’m with the boys’ mom. I’ll eat soon.
M – Don’t lie to me. Finish dinner now and then do whatever you want to.
R – The boys are waiting for me, Mom.
M – You are finishing dinner now, or do you want me to come up to your room now and take away your phone?
R – No ma. Give me 5 mins. We’re just wrapping up this group call. I’ll TTYL.
M – OK (Thumbs up)

You’ve probably guessed by now. This is not a typical conversation. The mother and her son are texting about dinner while sitting in the same house; the son is on the phone with his friends. This is where the world is heading. With a smartphone in hand, the entire family has retreated into separate rooms to stay connected with the unreal world, forgetting about the people who live with them in the same house.

We have already lost a lot due to our smartphones without even realizing it –

1. Falling attention span –

Did you know that people’s attention spans are getting shorter? According to Dr. Gloria Mark’s research, average screen attention was 2.5 minutes in 2004, 75 seconds in 2012, and 47 seconds in the last five years.

According to research, young adults aged 18 to 25 check their phones 56 times per day, or every 15 minutes.  This is largely due to the constant flow of information we face daily. Our phones are flooded with notifications, some of which are useful but many of which are not, so it is critical to be mindful of what distracts our productivity.

2. Negative impact on relationships –

With the increased usage of WhatsApp and SMS, we have reduced the number of face-to-face interactions with the people around us. We have lost the ability to read faces and to understand feelings through quivering voices. Nowadays, true intentions and feelings are hidden behind various emoticons that don’t even come close to expressing what one is feeling. We’ve started living in a world that is far from reality.

3. Increasing mental health issues –

Excessive social media use has been linked to depression caused by comparison and feelings of inadequacy. There has also been undue pressure to conform to a particular way of life or standard. This is because someone’s reality is frequently compared to another’s polished bright lifestyle. However, what one fails to understand is the reality behind the scenes of the bright smiles.

So, how do we step out of this addiction?

1. Acceptance and self-awareness –

The first step towards self-improvement is admitting that you need to change. The next thing to do is to figure out the level of addiction. Ironically, several apps on the internet can tell you how much time you spend on your phone. If you spend more than 4-5 hours per day on your phone, it’s time to reconsider your lifestyle.

By beginning to monitor your usage and determining when and where you spend your time, you can become more aware of how you spend it and decide what is important enough to allow as a distraction. You could also try a digital detox weekend to see how you’d do without your phone.

2. Reduce usage of infinity pool apps –

Dopamine is known as the “feel-good hormone,” and it is the hormone that motivates you to do numerous activities. Authors of the book “Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day” discuss how certain apps are like infinity pools and can steal the dopamine meant for doing difficult tasks. Infinity pools are apps that entice you with constant engagement, making it difficult to leave. An example is the never-ending reels on Instagram and YouTube. They provide you with never-ending content with a single swipe of your hand, and you don’t realize that with each swipe, you are swiping away hours and extinguishing your dopamine secretion.

3. Replace with healthier habits –

The best way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a good one, and the best way to stop spending time on the phone is by using it for something else. The next time you feel your phone is drawing you in, pick up a book instead or start a new hobby that does not involve the internet. Do you require a short break?  Try going for a short walk without your phone. There will be a sense of loss at first, but this is how you will eventually gain freedom.

While our smartphones allow us to stay connected to the world 24 hours a day, they also take away our real world without our noticing. It is our responsibility as adults and elders to steer clear of this addiction and set good examples for the younger generation.

There is a Tamil proverb that translates to, “Even too much nectar is poison.”

It’s high time we break free from these 5.5-inch cages and enjoy the sweetness of the nectar in limited quantities.

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About the Author – CA. R. Shruthi

Shruthi Rajaram is a Chartered Accountant and Certified Fraud Examiner by profession, and a writer by passion. She currently holds a prominent role as an Internal Auditor in the Banking and Financial Services space. In her free time, you can find her face inside the pages of a heavy book. She is an active writer and writes across various social media platforms. She is interested in topics of Human Psychology, Mindset, Biases, Habits, and Personal Development. She believes that there are no limits in life, and if there are, they are there only to be broken. Her long-term ambition is to write a best-selling book and be a member of the writing staff for a thriller television series.

She can be reached on: @ www.linkedin.com/in/shruthi-rajaram or @ shroothi.r@gmail.com

Though many of us have grumbled about not getting along with either the younger or older generation, have we ever wondered why this happens? Have we ever thought about why we are unable to relate to both these generations? Is it just the age we live in? What is this generation divide all about?

We all have feelings that we encounter on a daily basis. They add colour and purpose to our life, making it intriguing and fulfilling. Emotions, whether they be joy, sorrow, rage or love, have a significant impact on how we perceive and engage with the outside world. We experience extreme joy and excitement on occasions, and sadness or angst on another. Emotions have a significant impact on how we feel, think, act, and interact with others. Understanding our emotions makes life’s journey more rewarding and joyful by assisting us in making sense of who we are and of the people around us.

The term “generation gap” describes the differences and occasionally, the misunderstandings that take place between persons of various ages. Every generation has its own values, beliefs, and life experiences. Conflicts or disagreements between older and younger people can result from this. Each generation may perceive the other as either being out of touch with contemporary culture or lacking in their regard for our rich traditional practices. Acknowledging and accepting these distinctions can foster greater inter-generational harmony and partnership, enabling all people to share knowledge and collaborate for a better future.

Have you realised that emotional divide is another factor contributing to the generation gap? The emotional bond that we form with someone also determines the distance we feel from them.

In January 2023, I visited one of the tourist spots known as PARAMBIKULAM. The place borders both the states of Tamilnadu and Kerala and is home to many plants and animals. Parambikulam is a reserve forest and serves as one of the major water sources for both states. We were staying nearly 30 kms away from the dam and we were taken on a jungle safari to visit it.

The safari took us through a dense forest, after nearly 5 kilometers, we suddenly came across a small settlement of families. The next 25 kms were again through the dense forest with no human beings in sight. My thoughts, after travelling 30 kms, were still with the people in the settlement. All I had noticed were a few small houses, a temple, a small school probably for the kids there and a football ground. I felt EMOTIONALLY connected with them, and empathized with them – how terrible it must be for them – should a medical emergency arise, they have to travel to the nearby town called POLLACHI which is 50 kms away.

A few months later, in April 2023, I travelled to another place called MIRIK, a two-hour tedious journey from Siliguri. The road was literally a two-way track through a steep ghat section. I saw few settlements throughout the journey. They had no development facilities. I did not see any school or primary health center. All the residents between Siliguri and Mirik need to travel to either of these places in case of an emergency. Once I reached Mirik, however, I had forgotten about the people I saw during my journey. I enjoyed the pleasant weather, and was very eager to explore the place, its culture, its food, and way of living.

Once I returned to my hometown, I reminisced about both these trips, and I suddenly wondered – WHY WAS I NOT IN THE POSITION TO EMOTIONALLY CONNECT WITH THE PEOPLE ON MY WAY TO MIRIK AS I HAD DONE ON MY PREVIOUS TRIP?

After a lot of introspection, I realised that it was due to the emotional connection I felt with the culture and people in Parambikulam.

Every now and then I meet a lot of new people. As a Chartered Accountant, I have several opportunities to regularly talk to elders and youngsters alike – who are either my clients, professional acquaintances or articled assistants. In life as we age, we find it hard to understand the young more and more. We choose to blame the generation gap and move on.

We give so much importance to the intelligence quotient (IQ), but we never try to understand our own emotions. As we grow, we must mature, and as we go around interacting with people of all ages, we must adapt to their varied emotional needs.

The fact that I was able to connect emotionally with the local people (who were essentially my contemporaries) and was unable to do so with the other people (who were either younger or older than me) made a dent in my emotional quotient (EQ).

I believe that our profession demands that we equip ourselves to match the younger generation to stay in the competition – especially in the understanding and use of technological advancements. But no one has taught us how to stay emotionally connected with the younger or older generations. No one has taught us how to understand their emotional needs.

A quote that I read somewhere by the American journalist and social-political activist, Gloria Steinem comes to mind, “WE NEED TO REMEMBER ACROSS GENERATIONS THAT THERE IS AS MUCH TO LEARN AS THERE IS TO TEACH”

We are so very eager to teach when someone approaches us; we never get into the emotional need of the other generation. How beautiful would this world be if we stop, empathize, and try to understand each other EMOTIONALLY rather than hastily labelling these encounters. Until we start making an effort, the bridge will never get built.

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About the Author – CA M. Maalan Bharathi

Maalan Bharathi is a practicing chartered accountant from Coimbatore. He enjoys speaking and has spoken to students on a variety of subjects. He is pursuing several certifications in emotional intelligence since he is fascinated by understanding human emotions. Under the pen name “underage optimist”, he has written a variety of pieces because he loves to write so much.

He can be reached on: maalan.manickam@gmail.com

Since my childhood, I have wondered why my life is different. Is that the same doubt everyone has? Though we have distinct physical features, we hate comparison. Though we can see the path taken by successful people, we hesitate to follow them. Are we obsessed with being unique, or at the very least, safeguarding our originality? Our originality oozes out with the choices we make or the chances we take.

The favourite formative years:

With love and respect for the superstar Rajinikanth which is an integral code in every South Indian’s DNA, I remember my favourite line from a song featured in the famous movie ‘Padayappa’ which translated means, “We cannot choose either our parents, our physique, our birth or our death”.

The lyricist concludes by elucidating that the only choice we have is to ace the art of living the life we want.

The events of the past may appear faded in the albums but are still fresh in my memory. From an innocent kindergarten kid, I struggled through primary school with more than my fair share of an inferiority complex. The transformation came in the secondary school where I became bolder, only to reach my first milestone of rejection and failure in the higher secondary. Looking back now, these were my formative years.

The bud-to-blossom phase:

I vividly remember that Saturday evening, it was 2nd April 2011, I was on study leave for my 10th standard board exams, my eyes reluctantly glued to the screen of old CRT computer monitor, while everyone around me sat on the edge of their chairs/ sofas/ stools staring with bated breath at the television screen. The quiet was pierced by Ravi Shastri on the commentator mic, “Dhoni finishes off in style. A magnificent strike into the crowd! India lifts the World Cup after 28 years! “

For the very first time, I witnessed my 47-year-old dad transform into a young 19-year-old teen reliving the exhilarating event of the past. The joy and ecstasy on the faces of my father and brother made them appear to be siblings rather than father and son. I realised that such moments are a rarity and thrust away my biology books to vociferously join them in the celebrations. For a split second, I dared wonder, how would it be if I could do something which would be so life defining and exciting for my father. That moment and my thought is forever etched in my mind.

From a kid who had a singular goal of getting single-digit rank in term exams and revision exams, I started dreaming of becoming a responsible citizen. I started dreaming of wearing a doctor coat, a lawyer coat, a camouflaged police uniform, a civil servant and what not!

I prepared for the 12th board exams like a beast with subject books being my only priority. I ignored my health – both physical and mental and lost the race by a few marks. This setback in my higher secondary taught me the invaluable lesson of the need to have a Plan B with Plan A. This event brought about a very important paradigm shift, both internally and externally. Though the scent of flowers is inherent within the bud, the fragrance spreads only when the flower blossoms. Likewise, our core values and purpose emerge only as we mature.

First chance to make own choice:

I followed my gut and joined the National Cadet Corps. I was now straddling three disciplines, studying as an under-grad, I was also studying to be a CA and was an NCC cadet. My well-wishers advised me that I would be, “A jack of all trades, and a master of none”. My inner voice kept telling me, “A jack of all trades is a master of none, but often times better than a master of one”.

NCC was a decision made by choice, and CA was a decision by chance. Both have worked and shaped my nature. I am gratified that while I may not have become a Dhoni, I am Abi who is able to stand up for her own.

Decisions by choices make us and by chance mould us:

The decisions made by choice and taken by chance mould the individual. The former teaches us the importance of structured planning, being proactive and having systematic approach towards our goal. The latter teaches us the value of being bold enough to go with one’s gut feel, embrace a highly uncertain (and at times risky) outcome, the fine distinction between responding and reacting.

The choices we make and the chances we take always revolve around our core values and purpose. The universe aligns the decisions taken by chance with those made by choice. Makes one wonder when opportunities fall in one’s lap at the right place and time, in the larger scheme of things, is this a coincidence, magic, or just pre-connected dots!

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About the Author: CA Abirami K, ACA, B.Sc Maths (Comp. Application)

A qualified Chartered Accountant working at a prominent bank as Relationship Manager in mid-Corporate Group. While pursuing graduation in Bachelor of Mathematics with Computer Application in PSG College of Arts and Science, Coimbatore, her interest toward accountancy prompted her to become a Chartered accountant. During her under-grad days, as a sergeant with the NCC, she led her contingent as Parade Commander. She represented her college for Best Cadet competition in Republic Day Training Camps.

After working with a software major for 1.5 years, her amiable nature made her switch gears to choose banking sector. Her belief in fitness (both physical and mental) sees her actively participating in marathons, while cycling extensively on weekends. She is part of the ‘Smiles that Shine’ on Sunday mornings through HAPPY STREETS, an event which encourages the public to come out onto the streets to socialize every Sunday morning through a wide array of activities. She has recently enrolled as a volunteer teacher with an NGO called U & I.

Of the many quotes I love, the following three have created a great impact within me:

1. Expectation is the root cause of all mental agony.
2. What goes around, comes around.
3. Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is giving!

I understood the true meaning of the first two quotes when I read a story about a saint in a book. Back in the 1970s, a saint was sitting with his disciples near a water body, discussing various topics. A businessman, who was an ardent devotee of the saint, came there. He said, “Guruji, this year, I made an enormous profit in my business, and I want to donate some of it to you”. He placed a huge bundle of cash at the saint’s feet. The saint looked at the money and then glanced up at the businessman. He once again looked down at the bundle and then up at the businessman who stood with folded hands in front of him. Reading the thoughts that were running through the businessman’s mind, to everyone’s surprise, he suddenly picked up the money and hurled it into the water.

His disciples were stunned but did not react as they knew that the saint had done this for a purpose. On the other hand, the expression on the businessman’s face immediately changed. Containing the streak of rage that ran through him, he asked the saint in a pained voice, “Guruji, how can such an enlightened soul like you do this? The money could have been used for various developmental activities of the ashram. Why did you throw the money into the water?”

The saint calmly looked at the man and asked him to summarise all that that happened. The businessman narrated the events. The saint asked him, “Did I receive the money from you?” to which the businessman replied, “Yes, you received it from me”. The saint then said, “As soon as I received the money from your hands, it became mine – to do whatever I would wish to do it. Why then are you still attached to it if it is charity?”

The businessman realised his mistake. Although he had physically parted with the money, he was still attached to it mentally (subtly). The saint had helped him realise that true charity is the one done without any attachment. The businessman apologised for his ignorance. The money was retrieved from the water, dried and then used for the intended purposes.

This story created a deep impact within me at a time when I was going through a particular phase in my life. Very often, we meet people who come to us seeking some assistance. We help them and feel quite pleased and regard ourselves as being their benefactor of sorts. After reading the story I realised that whatever one gives, it must be done wholeheartedly, without any expectation in return. The Universe is a meticulous accountant, it will keep a detailed account, tally and give it back in some other way. Our problem is that we expect it back from the same person whom we helped, and when there is no reciprocation, we feel let down.

Eventually, I did witness this pattern in my life. Whenever I share knowledge or help someone, I might not get anything in return, but later whenever I require assistance, the Universe will beautifully arrange the situations around me to make it happen. The two important aspects will be: (1) It might not be from the same person (whom) I helped earlier (2) It will not come back as soon as I helped/ shared. It takes its own sweet time, just to test my patience and detachment level. Ultimately, by the end of the day, I will have received what I need.

At times, one sees people publicise their deeds of charity. I feel it contradicts the third quote “Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is giving”. Once I was talking to one of my mentors who revealed a different paradigm to this quote. He said, “There can be another way of interpreting this quote. It does not literally mean that you must keep the deed as a secret from other people. There can be deeper meanings – the left hand refers to the ego and hence one is not supposed get into the egoistic feeling while donating. Also, when the wrong doers make so much noise regarding the wrong, the doers of good need to make noise about the good that they are doing! This will inspire others to do good and the positive noise will help drown the negative noise! However, the doer of good needs to ensure that he does not feed his ego by portraying himself as a benefactor”. This conversation with my mentor, along with the above story made me realise the profound lesson that if we are detached from our actions, we will not be disappointed or disheartened in anyway.

So, let’s be reassured that:

1. Expectation is the root cause of all mental agony.
2. What goes around, comes around.
3. Do not let your left hand (ego) know what your right hand (soul) is giving!

Our ancestors have said, “Generally whenever something is given, it’s quantity is reduced, but the one thing that multiples even when given is knowledge”. Hence with the above reassurances, let us share whatever we know with an open heart and let us make this world an insightful place to live in. Have a beautiful day.

 

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About: Mr. Lakshmanan,

An Engineer turned Chartered Accountant who secured All India Rank-2 in CA Intermediate exams, he is a Chartered Accountant by profession and a speaker by passion. He is fascinated with the idea of integrating automation in workspace and works actively to do so. His passion to share knowledge and help people around him has led him to start various significant initiatives and virtual groups. He has addressed many CA students regarding improving their study techniques and personal productivity. He loves to read books from various genres, including self-help, biographies, and spirituality. His ability to decode and simplify concepts by applying humour and interesting stories makes him a sought-after speaker.

He can be reached on : lak93.7@gmail.com