Year: 2025

“Conversation is a meeting of minds with different memories and habits. When minds meet, they don’t just exchange facts: they transform them, reshape them, draw different implications from them and engage in new trains of thought. Conversation doesn’t just reshuffle the cards: it creates new cards.” — Theodore Zeldin

Recently, I came across a news article about a Bangalorean who shared the video of his grandmother’s first interaction with ChatGPT Voice — and it struck a chord with many. But somehow, I felt that the very question which she would have liked to ask the young man directly, the grandma asked AI; why?

In another video, a son records himself wishing his mother “Happy Mother’s Day” so that he may share it on social media. The mother’s response, however, is heart breaking. She asks her son to install Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and other apps on her mobile so she can talk to him. Just so that she can connect with him, she is prepared to learn to use these social media platforms.

With everyone so busy in their daily schedule these days, we rarely have time to talk to family members or elders, who would be naturally more inclined to listen to us and offer solutions. Instead, we listen to our phones, talk to SIRI/ALEXA, look up answers on Google, and live our lives according to the rules set by the digital world.

Even while commuting, one can observe people so very engrossed in their devices that they rarely pay attention to all that is happening around them – this happens even as they are crossing the streets – which can lead to accidents. In local trains, people place their body weight on another person, leaving their hands to type on WhatsApp or scroll through reels. Is this what life has come to?

The increasing prevalence of social media has regrettably resulted in young individuals potentially lacking the essential communication skills required for successful face-to-face interactions. The allure and convenience of online communication may very well contribute to a decline in practising interpersonal communication. In the long run, this could lead to social isolation and loneliness, which can significantly impact a person’s mental and physical health as well as their quality of life – making them major health concerns.

Conversation is the most human characteristic we all possess. Dialogue represents one of the most quintessential aspects of our humanity. It is within this exchange that empathy is cultivated, as eye contact fosters comprehension, allowing us to gain profound insights into what the other person is thinking. Through conversation, we not only discover the intricacies of those around us but also deepen our understanding of ourselves.

Effective communication is essential across all aspects of life, encompassing both personal and professional spheres. Proficient communication skills, such as engaging in conversations, allow us to understand others and articulate our thoughts clearly, facilitating the exchange of information.

The advantages of being present in person cannot be overstated. For families, the crucial initial step is to make an effort to be physically and emotionally available for loved ones as frequently as possible. This presence can significantly impact an individual’s health and overall well-being. Engaging in storytelling and discussing daily experiences over a nutritious meal serves as a powerful means of connection. Sharing meals with family or friends enhances the dining experience, making it more rewarding. Many individuals assert that meals are more enjoyable when shared, and research suggests that those who dine together tend to eat at a slower pace and opt for healthier choices compared to those who eat alone.

Remember that healthy conversation is a two-way street. Learn to practice active listening. Be receptive and open to hearing what the other person has to say. In almost every field of life, wherever we’re working, living and existing, conversation is undeniably a huge part of everyday life. No matter whether you are studying or working, conversation can aid you to build a relationship with the people.

It can be challenging to care for and communicate with elderly people, but we need to understand that effective communication is crucial for preserving a positive attitude and fostering positive interpersonal interactions in addition to lowering miscommunications, disputes, and stress when interacting with seniors. Communicate with kindness and invest yourself in the conversation.

Let me share with you a personal experience of mine. As part of my daily ritual, I spend some time after dinner walking around my building premises. One day, I noticed an 80+ year old lady sitting on the bench. She would simply stare at the people passing by without saying anything. I initially thought she was waiting for someone to join her.  One day, I smiled at her and then from that day onwards, made it a point to smile at her every single time I passed her by. After a few days, she began to smile back, and a week later, we began to exchange pleasantries. Slowly but surely, we started to converse.

She told me about how she used to live in a different area, and how her only son, who now lived overseas with his wife and seven-year-old kid, had bought her a new house. She was a widow, and her son made it a point to phone her once a week to check on her health and other matters. She would insist her son keep the calls brief as she was worried about the charges for international calls.

Over time, I started identifying conversation starters and we would soon engage in deep conversations. She started waiting anxiously for my arrival every day and would animatedly fill me in on her day’s activities once I would reach. As days went by, a few more senior ladies joined us. I started seeing a visible difference on her countenance – she was more relaxed, happy and confident.  I would start a conversation, and the ladies would jump right into it. Slowly, I realized that our relationship had deepened and that everyone was eager to share their ideas and experiences. And it was not just a one-way street – over time, I found them to be a source of comfort and support whenever I needed assistance.

My life is a lot richer now with these relationships and bonds I have formed – to think that all it started with was me choosing to smile at one senior citizen instead of looking through her or averting my gaze.

I encourage you to initiate a conversation with someone you don’t know. This small act of kindness could brighten their day and contribute to a more connected and accepting world.

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About Rati Nair:

A BCAS staffer since 2013, Rati enjoys interacting with people because she believes it broadens her perspective and how she approaches others. In her spare time, she enjoys playing games, singing, and taking quizzes with her children. Her house is lively and provides many opportunities to engage with others more as a result. Being surrounded by teenagers and seniors all the time, Rati listens to and comprehends them. Although conscious of life’s stressors and challenges, she likes to stay upbeat, creative, modest, soft-spoken, and youthful at heart. She has a deep love for music, painting, cooking, and gardening. She prefers to live simply and modestly while still enjoying life to the fullest.

Rati can be reached at prakash.rati@gmail.com

Sameer usually scored average marks in his high school. In a couple of instances, he even failed a few subjects. While growing up, he struggled academically, and this lowered his self confidence too. Due to the fear of being mocked, he started skipping his classes.

The school used to conduct an aptitude test for entrance exams to various universities, upon graduating from school. This was one of the toughest tests to clear; Sameer promised his mother that we would take this aptitude test.

Though Sameer studied hard for it, he did not expect a good score for himself. When the results were out, he was pleasantly surprised – he had scored a whopping 1450 out of 1600! His happiness knew no bounds. His mother, knowing her kid, asked him, “Did you cheat?” He convinced her that he had solved the test honestly and had not cheated. Sameer eventually graduated from a reputed college and went on to become a successful entrepreneur.

This isn’t the story. What comes next is the important part.

20 years later (when he was a successful businessman), Sameer received a letter from his school.  The letter said that as part of periodic review, it had come to light that he was 1 of the 13 students from his batch who had been sent incorrect scores – his actual score was 740, a very low score.

Until then, Sameer had assumed that his life had changed because he had scored really high on the test. He realized that his life had changed not because of the ‘fantastic score’, but because his attitude and behavior had changed after ‘scoring superbly’ – the right attitude and behavior are keys to success.

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

Two things to learn from this anecdote??

Self-Belief:

The driver behind Sameer’s success in life was the ‘whopping score’ he got. Opportunity knocked on his door – he grabbed it – his newfound courage helped him get a seat into a prestigious university where he performed well – all this contributed to Sameer’s initial success.

The entire incident led to self-belief emerging from within, which later motivated him to start his own and become a successful entrepreneur. This success was possible because Sameer started believing in himself, broadened his horizons and remained committed towards his goal. His strong sense of belief acted as a shield against all criticism and rejection that Sameer had faced as a failure during his schooldays.  The change in his behavior and belief helped develop his self-confidence, enabling him to face varied experiences with resilience.

The unwavering belief in one’s abilities forms the foundation upon which we build our futures. As we delve into the realms of self-discovery, it becomes clear that self-belief and self-confidence are critical in bringing about a transformative change, not only in our own lives, but in those around us too. This self-belief serves as inner strength when confronted with condemnation and rejection. It acts as armor through the challenges of life.

 Keep Moving:

We all use Google Maps, don’t we? If and when we miss a turn, Google Maps doesn’t say, “Hey, you took/ are taking a wrong turn”. It simply re-routes and guides you to the next best option to reach your destination.

The lesson we can take from this is that we need to understand that we are not off track, we just need to keep on moving and re-work our strategy. We may take a bit longer to reach our destination, or we may not reach the intended destination, but instead find a new pathway to a better one. The most important thing here is to keep moving.

In the above anecdote, his actual failure in his aptitude test did not stop Sameer from moving ahead with newfound confidence, which later became the driver for his professional success.

“Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.”

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 About Sneha:

Sneha is a Chartered Accountant by profession and is a strong believer of optimism in most of the life situations. Apart from being passionate in playing various outdoor games, she likes travelling viz; leisure, business, culture, religious, ecotourism etc.

Sneha can be reached at snehapatel3984@gmail.com

One afternoon in my Mumbai office, just after lunch, my manager called me on the intercom to his cabin. I was surprised to find our DGM there. He informed me that Tata Consulting Engineers (TCE) needed my expertise as a Cable Engineer for a client in Iran and directed me to TCE’s Project Division for details. I was then an employee of Tata Hydroelectric Power Supply Company, now Tata Power.

The next day, I was briefed on the project and deputation terms for TAVANIR, Iran’s Power Authority. While it was beneficial to my career, I had to discuss it with my wife, as it meant a two-year stay without family, with paid leave every six months. With two young children, the eldest (my son) just above ten and a daughter still a toddler, we deliberated before I agreed. However, the project details and living conditions remained unclear until I arrived in Tehran!

TAVANIR, the Power Authority of Iranian Ministry, engaged the consultancy services of TATA’s to oversee the installation and commissioning of their 66kV Power Distribution network. That’s how, in 1977, I became a part of a team of three engineers deputed as consultants, to oversee the installation and commissioning of a large 66kV underground cable network. The other two team members were assigned to manage civil work and sub-station erection.

That’s how we, the three musketeers, landed up in Chabahar, Iran!

The representative of TAVANIR briefed me that the project site was an upcoming defense base and explained the expanse of the project, scope of work and living facilities at site, etc.  He also gently warned me that being a defense base, it would be under the surveillance of Iran’s Secret police…the SAVAK!

Under the rule of Mohamed Reza Shah Pahlavi, also known as Shah of Iran – plans were afoot since mid-1976 to set up a vital defense base comprising the Navy, Air Force and Army of the US at Chabahar, a strategically located port close to the Strait of Hormuz. Why vital? Because you could scuttle a few junk ships in the narrowest part of this strait and ensure that no oil tankers could find their way in and out of the Gulf…take a look at the map! (Map 1) A virtual stranglehold on the region’s transport route.

The project was actually in a place called Konarak (loosely termed as Chabahar) which was a sparsely populated desert, sprinkled with an occasional oasis or a hamlet of the local Baluchi inhabitants. It would be interesting to know that Baluchistan, which is spread across the Iranian and West Pakistan territories, had a very porous border. Our base camp was located at Konarak, about 70 km by road from Chabahar Town. (refer Map 2).

There were only two seasons: 1) Summer, peaking at 53^oC and 2) Not so hot summer, peaking at 42^oC! We stayed in camping cabins that were thankfully air-conditioned! Breakfast, lunch and dinner (no free meals!) were served at the Iranian camp diner. The menu primarily consisted of chicken, eggs, beef, mutton, naan, and occasional rice recipes. The three of us being vegetarians, the only vegetables we could find were lemon and onions in salads! Life in the desert was tough, and family status was denied.

The Project Head from the Iranian Ministry for Power (TAVANIR) learnt of our plight and provided facilities like a gas range, fridge, utensils etc. We sourced a portable cabin (like a camper), scrounged around for a wash basin, etc. from the Iranian camp next door. Since I am a do-it-yourself (DIY) kind of a guy, I set up the kitchen – complete with power source, lighting, water inlets, wash basin, drainage, cook top, etc.

These were the late 70’s and Chabahar at that time was the only outpost closest to us for survival. It provided us:

♦ Telephonic connectivity to Tehran, the capital of Iran, and overseas to India

♦ The facility to send and receive surface mail

♦ Petrol and diesel for our vehicles

♦ Medical aid facility at the Red Crescent Hospital

♦ Our day-to-day essentials and consumables

While we were camped practically on the seashore, the work sites of the Army, Navy, and Air Force defense bases were spread over a large area, and we would easily cover anywhere between 70-80 km a day, driving between the sites to oversee and monitor the progress at each site. Barring the electric substation, the naval base was exclusively under the control of the US Navy for security and other reasons.

Given the intense heat, the working hours were, mercifully, from 7 am to 12 noon and from 2 pm to 5 pm. And oh yes, officially it was a 5-day work week, with Thursday and Fridays as our weekly off. It really didn’t matter as we didn’t live with our families and so we didn’t have anywhere to go and spend time on the weekends.

The 5-day week was a joke, at least for us Asians. The Swedish, British, French, and Italians would hold barbecue parties with fresh livestock slaughtered on site. We were rarely invited and even on that odd day, we wouldn’t relish it as most of us were vegetarians and teetotalers.

We had a lot to do ourselves over the weekends. We had to stock diesel and replenish our food supplies for at least a fortnight and speak to our families back in India. We had to use the Land Rover, driven by me, to travel 70 km each way, to Chabahar town and back.

Communication over the phone, especially outside the country, was a challenge in itself. Since there were only landlines those days, we had to book an international call (in India we called it Standard Trunk Dialing – STD). We would wait for hours to get our turn and since the call was timed, we would receive reminders of the minutes remaining and that would momentarily disrupt our train of thought of what we wanted to convey in those precious minutes. On an unlucky day, the call would disconnect due to technical issues. And to top it all, we had to be wary of what we said, as we had a feeling that the lines were tapped!!!

Logistics in terms of our movement in and out of Konarak to other cities was only by air using chartered flights that operated once a week to Shiraz. This arrangement was free and exclusively meant for project personnel. From Shiraz, we had to use regular commercial airlines to move to other cities in Iran, including Tehran.

The flights from Tehran would bring much-awaited mail from our families – written by them weeks before and received by TAVANIR’s office in Tehran. These flights also carried much-needed condiments and essential ingredients required for our kitchen, sent by our counterparts in Tehran.

Konarak had a dubious record. While we could get items like processed food, white goods, alcohol, and even SUVs smuggled from the UAE across the Gulf of Oman (refer Map 1) in dhows, we could not access fresh fruits and vegetables or even a carton of processed milk (we had to make do with milk powder).

In early 1978, around Navroz, we heard whispers about an ongoing revolution to overthrow the monarchy. History unfolded as the royals were deposed, and a strict religious regime took control. Though it was an internal matter, it created immense insecurity among all the expats. As soon as the revolution took momentum in mid-1978, The Revolutionary Guards, loyal to the incoming rulers, operated with unchecked authority, targeting foreigners, especially Americans, as the Chabahar defense base was being built by the US. The British, Italian, and French nationals were also at risk and had fled by late 1978. Only we three Indians, a few Sri Lankans, Bangladeshis, and some local Baluchi employees remained on-site.

Push came to shove in a way that was both unpleasant and serendipitous! We were in the habit of sitting outside the camper to have dinner every night, next to the parked Land Rover. On one such night, a shot rang out and the next thing we heard was a bullet whiz past me and hit the parked Land Rover! Deciding enough was enough; we packed up and decided to leave for Tehran via Shiraz by the chartered flight that came in once a week from Shiraz.

The flight, meant for base personnel, was free, but a Revolutionary Guard, wielding an M16, barred us as “Khariji” (foreigners). With no choice, we abandoned the site and most belongings, taking a bus to Tehran, nearly 2,000 km — facing multiple checkpoints and harassment. By the time we arrived, winter had set in, but we were still dressed for Chabahar’s summer!

Our troubles continued as the government machinery came to a standstill, disrupting money transfers. A daily limit was imposed on fund repatriation, forcing us to queue outside the bank from 7 am in the freezing winter, waiting for our turn to remit money.

In January 1979, Shah Reza Pahlavi fled, allowing Ayatollah Khomeini’s return on February 1. Expats were advised to stay indoors, and we watched from terraces as jubilant crowds and Revolutionary Guards welcomed him with great fanfare.

Obtaining our exit visa was a challenge, as ministry employees had deserted their offices due to the revolution. After settling our dues, our parent company paid us in Iranian Rials, nearly worthless in India. We managed to exchange them for US dollars at an exorbitant rate.

Finally, I got my exit visa and left for the airport! The gun-toting trigger-happy Revolutionary Guards were there too. My check-in and cabin baggage were thoroughly checked (I had no idea what it was they thought I would be carrying from a country that had been impoverished overnight)! The Guards found a couple of audio cassette tapes of Iranian songs sung by a famous singer (of the Shah regime), Googoosh. She too had fled Iran. The tapes were crushed and destroyed by them with the butts of their automatic weapons.

Only on planting my feet on Indian terra firma, did I realize that with nothing better to do, I had grown a beard in Baluchi style. When my family came to receive me at the airport, my five-year-old daughter let out a shriek on seeing me!

Though there are instances I would rather forget, like the bullet whizzing past me, I am able to recollect the minute details at this age since they are firmly etched in my memory for posterity!

At the Chabahar site.. the author with his trustworthy pal, his (ramshackle) Land Rover (with no AC) who bore the brunt of the harsh climate and harsh terrain.

The temperatures would rise to 52^oC, so high that you could actually cook a sunny side up on its bonnet!

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About: Balakumar V.

As he approaches his 85th birthday, he finds joy in reflecting on his journey. The youngest of four siblings, his childhood unfolded in Kolkata, Delhi, and Mumbai (in that order). By his own admission, he wasn’t an exceptional student, but neither was he dull—with a mind always brimming with curiosity. At the tender age of eleven, he had dismantled a German KIENZLE alarm clock, only to fail at reassembling it—earning a memorable thrashing from his father!

Recognizing his inquisitive nature, his father gifted him a Fretwork toolkit on his 12th birthday, setting him on a creative path. He soon ventured into aeromodelling and electronics, eventually pursuing engineering, a career his father had envisioned for him. He stepped into the engineering college just as his father retired, studying on his modest pension.

His career spanned thirty years at Tata Electric, followed by a stint in Bahrain’s R&D section of the Distribution Directorate of the Ministry of Electricity and Water until 2002, when he finally hung up his boots. Even in retirement, his DIY passion thrives—at 85, he built a tool chest on wheels using electric and hand tools! Creativity keeps life exciting—is his lifelong Mantra!

Mr. Balakumar can be reached at chandrasekarbalakumar@gmail.com