Year: 2026

I qualified as a Chartered Accountant in January 2023 – January 10, 2023, to be precise! That day I received more calls than I would get on my birthdays…  I think all CAs will agree with this.

This day was the result of hard work, multiple attempts, failures and a mantra my non-Commerce-background father would tell me after each of my failed attempts –

“Aisa Ran chodh dass mat ban”

 “All is well”

“Sher hai tu”

“You are a blessed kid”

My dearest father would engrave these thoughts in my mind every time I failed my CA exams or for that matter, anything in my life. He didn’t know that, but he was unknowingly making my belief system stronger and helping me manifest my dreams.

I took at least two attempts for each group of the intermediate and final exams and during each succeeding attempt, I convinced myself that this was a chance to do better and score more. First attempts are celebrated grandly and many look at second chance as failure.

My father’s daily motivation and affirmation made me strongly believe that I was destined to be the first CA in my entire bloodline and I would constantly visualize my convocation day – and it actually happened! But yes, the journey has not been easy.

I strongly believe that failure is the biggest teacher and that I am truly a blessed kid because my father said so. Nothing in life can shake this belief (that) I have about myself.  So, when I failed at things or for that matter in my attempts in CA exams, I did not look at them as a weakness.  I took it as a learning – sure, I felt upset and unlucky – I felt stressed too, but the core belief that ‘all is going to end well for me’ stayed strong.

Every invention in this world came out of an idea – something intangible – but the inventor believed in it strongly and that drove them to work on it. The simple math here is that we don’t do anything unless and until we believe in it. Our belief system moves us through the day and through life.

Most of you would have heard about the book “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne and also about how you can manifest things easily into your life. Now many would say, “I tried it, but it didn’t work for me” or “How does it work without taking any effort?” or “How can just talking positive help me to get anywhere in life? – that is stupid!”

Well!! I hear you and so does the Universe. Using mantras or having positive self-talk isn’t enough if you don’t believe in it and do it just to keep yourself pushing through the bad days. You need to feel it within you and believe that it is true.

I guarantee you that manifestation is real and very powerful. I also assure you that you have manifested many things in your life without realizing you did it. Look back at what you termed as being a coincidence or what you referred to as ‘destiny’. All that you desired and – in fact abhorred too. Remember the trip you always wanted to take as a little kid and when you finally did it you told others, “Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to do this” or something simple such as, “You know what! Since morning, I have been thinking about a cheesecake, and you bought it for me.”

We are easily inclined to negative thoughts, fears and beliefs because our natural instinct is to protect ourselves and survive. Our ancestors hunted and battled to survive.  Darwin proved that only the fittest survived. It is in our DNA to look out for troubles and protect ourselves; so, we naturally imagine the worst-case scenario rather than the best-case scenario, since the core belief is that only the fittest survive.

In today’s world, this belief is not just limited to physical survival, but even in the daily race we run – be it in our career, at our workplace or, for that matter, in our social life. To win our battles, we are inclined to list out all the possible scenarios of failure and then identify how to protect ourselves from failing. We are all wired that way.

At home, my parents have taught us not to say negative things. In Marathi, there is a saying, “Vaastu tathastu boltey” meaning “The universe listens and nods a yes!!” Words carry power, so one should consciously avoid talking negative about oneself. The simple logic is that by talking negatively, you may manifest it. For example, something as petty as “I never get a seat in the train”, “It’s always jammed up when I am running late for the office.” We have our own assumptions about ourselves and that is how we always end up attracting the same result every time.

So, when someone says, “Stay positive and you shall manifest the life you want”, it seems like a scam to most of us. I want you to stop and think – had it been just a scam, many things would not have been possible – the very process of thinking of a possibility is what has led to many creations and cures for various diseases.

Mantras, affirmations and visualizations carry much power to shift our belief system and make things come into our life in ways (that) we call destiny, luck, coincidence, magic, dream-come-true-moment and punya – the fruit of good karma.

Often, during CA exams, we fail in our first attempt even though we were all ready and prepared for the exam. The next time we look at what went wrong – we change our revision strategy, we also go through certain topics that we might have skipped during the previous attempt. Basically, we do things differently the next time – to clear the exam.

Likewise in life too, when you find yourself at your lowest, know that it isn’t a failure, it is a clean slate – a new chance to start all over again – this time with more clarity – knowing what not to do and how to face it. Be it an exam, interview, your weight loss journey, getting more clients or simply trying to follow a better disciplined morning routine. Do it again and again till you get it right. As CAs, if we have learnt anything it is that no matter how many attempts it takes, do not give up till you become successful. It is only in our profession that Chartered Accountants carry their attempts as badges of pride and respect. We celebrate second chances and even the twentieth one with great honor.

My failed attempts taught me that if failing was inevitable, but willingness was there, the next chance stood in front of you with open arms. The trick of mind, love of heart and the art of second chance is all what you need to start anew, start afresh.

Just focus on the target like it is just new and for real once again. Second chances offer one a new lifeline, a helpline. Just like in the game of monopoly, where one has two options at every turn – one definitely chooses the one that is most profitable. It is for you to recognize that second chance.

Lewis Carroll is attributed to have once said, “In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.”

Even fruit-bearing trees do not always bear the sweetest fruits all the time, sometimes the tree needs to be nurtured and given more attention and care. Once you know something is wrong, you have to go to the root of the problem – second chance is all about digging right up to the root and making the base stronger than before.

Second chance isn’t an attribute of your first failure, but it characterizes – “I am aware of you, but this time I am sure about myself.” Second chances are always the best. The art of second chances draws a winning road. All you need is to learn the art and believe in yourself and manifest the life of your dreams.

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About Manali

Manali is a Chartered Accountant with experience in statutory audits, including ICFR engagements and exposure to complex Ind AS transactions. She also holds the ACCA Diploma in IFRS (DipIFRS) which has helped her strengthen expertise in international financial reporting standards.

She has gained professional experience working with one of the big fours for a brief period, while having an overall professional experience of 3 years post qualification. She is passionate about delivering work with integrity and precision while continuously striving for growth.

Outside of work, she enjoys writing, reading, dancing, and engaging in meaningful conversations about life and personal development.

She can be reached on manalimahadik96@gmail.com

Picture this… it’s 8 pm. Laptops are shut, but the real work is just beginning. Someone at office says, “Let’s grab a drink”. Why? Because it’s been a long Tuesday or the presentation finally landed well, or the team is exhausted after surviving another impossible deadline, or it feels like the natural punctuation mark at the end of work. A pause. A release. A reward. You go, partly because you want to connect, partly because staying back feels awkward or simply because you can’t say no. No one forces you. But opting out feels like opting away.

When Drinking becomes a Professional & Bonding Language

Client dinners. Team bonding nights. Conferences where the bar is the keynote location. Deals celebrated with alcohol, stress softened by it, relationships built around it. Over time, those drinks multiply. Drinking becomes shorthand for being social, easy going, part of the team/group. It works. You laugh more easily, conversations flow, and suddenly colleagues feel like friends.

We have created a societal ritual where “unwinding” involves putting our internal organs under more stress than they faced during the 10-hour workday. Even with actual friends who plan to catch up, meeting over drinks and dinner in a cafe is pretty much standard (whether for lack of spaces in metros/ just because it’s an accepted norm/ one can’t be bothered to think of alternatives!!).

No one starts to drink because they want to damage their health. As nutritionists working closely with professionals across industries, we rarely see “drinking problem” in the traditional sense. What we see instead is something quieter and far more normalized: social and work drinking woven so deeply into professional life that it stops being a choice and starts feeling like part of the job or “just the way it is nowadays.” And because everyone around is functional—showing up to work, hitting deadlines and “appears” functional —it feels harmless.

But the body experiences this very differently, it keeps a quieter ledger.

Alcohol and the Quiet Cost to Performance

From a nutrition standpoint, alcohol is not just “empty liquid calories.” Our body treats it like a VIP guest who just gate-crashed a party. Because it is technically a toxin—your liver stops everything else it’s doing. It becomes the body’s top priority to process this VIP. Everything else—recovery, fat metabolism, muscle repair, nutrient absorption—gets put on hold. Most professionals know that alcohol isn’t “healthy.” But what’s underestimated is how deeply it interferes with systems you rely on to perform.

It’s a sleep-hormone-blood sugar disruptor. Yes, it might help you fall asleep faster, but the sleep you get is lighter, more fragmented, and far less restorative. REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep which plays a critical role in emotional regulation, memory and decision-making, is significantly reduced. Heart rate stays elevated. The body remains in a mild stress state through the night as alcohol even causes release of stress hormones. You wake up having technically slept but not recovered. The importance of this recovery through a good night’s sleep is too undervalued.

When this happens occasionally, the body copes. When it happens several nights a week, week after week, the effects start to show up in ways people rarely connect back to drinking. Brain fog that lingers into the morning. Irritability over small things. A sense of constant fatigue, hours of missed sleep and the need for caffeine just to feel baseline functional. Understand that the culprit here is not just the alcohol, but the late nights, less sleep, greasy poor-quality food along with it and our already so-so fitness/health status.

In high-performing environments, people pride themselves on pushing through. You tell yourself you’re fine, you’ve handled worse. But resilience doesn’t mean immunity. It often means you adapt right up until you don’t.

Alcohol may feel like relief, but physiologically it adds another layer of stress. Alcohol does calm the nervous system initially, but with regular use it does the opposite in long term. Baseline anxiety increases. The nervous system becomes less flexible. That sense of unease on Sunday nights, the irritability that feels out of proportion, the feeling that small things are suddenly overwhelming are often dismissed as job stress. Over time, this shows up as blood sugar instability, increased inflammation, hormonal as well as sleep disruption, and larger waist circumferences too! Workouts feel harder. Motivation dips. You get sick more often. Alcohol quietly amplifies all of it.

Many professionals chalk this up to age or workload and stress. Rarely does alcohol get factored in, because it’s not excessive or dramatic. It’s just consistent. It’s like an invisible metabolic tax being charged at these events and meets. It’s not on the bill; it’s on your health.

The Illusion of “Just A Social Drinker”

Most people who enjoy drinks socially are not addicts in real sense but that’s even more like an illusion at times because the occasional drinks are not accounted for or given much thought. This could range from once a week to 2-3 times a week or even more. Merely because you may not be reaching home “drunk” doesn’t mean the damage is not happening! One evening its colleagues, another evening its friends and cousins for a third! So, the occasional is not really so. The damage from drinking rarely announces itself loudly. It accumulates…like compounding returns. Energy slowly erodes. Health feels harder to maintain than it should. Yet many of us still default to bars and late nights as the primary way to bond.

Let’s not forget the Best Friends who tag along!

What happens when alcohol meets “bar snacks /starters?” Typically, the snacks and starters are notoriously salty & oily. Salty snacks make you thirstier→ leading to more drinking→ more alcohol→ lesser inhibitions→ more mindless eating and drinking. It’s rarely just the drink itself that derails health; it’s the unconscious consumption that surrounds it. A brilliant loop for the venue, but a disaster for your blood pressure, hydration, health. For now, let us ignore the poor nutritional quality of food served in most restaurants!

The Myth That Alcohol Is Essential

One of the hardest things to challenge is the belief that alcohol is necessary for networking and relationship-building. There’s truth to the idea that it lowers inhibitions and speeds up a sense of familiarity. The reality is that meaningful professional relationships aren’t built on alcohol. They are built on trust, consistency, and shared experiences. Alcohol just accelerates the illusion of closeness. In the “Peer Pressure” culture of many corporate setups, saying “no” to a drink can feel like saying “no” to a relationship. We need to shift from Performative Drinking (drinking to fit in) to Intentional Consumption.

AWARENESS, NOT ABSTINENCE

This is not about labelling alcohol as bad or telling professionals to opt out entirely. It is about creating awareness. About recognizing that frequent, low-level drinking still has consequences, especially in our high-demand lives. Agreed that the nervous system needs a signal that work is over, or now is my time to relax. That signal doesn’t have to be a drink. Another justification which we give ourselves is “I deserve a drink” because I just went through so much/ had a frustrating day/ the boss was being so difficult/ family/ kids situation is so stressful, etc. etc. Remember these are all excuses and alcohol does not help with any of these.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF SOCIALIZING

Many people find that simply creating alcohol-free days during the week dramatically improves sleep, mood, and energy. Others notice a difference when they stop drinking at home and reserve alcohol only for truly social occasions. Eating properly before events, rather than arriving hungry, changes how the body handles alcohol and reduces the urge to keep drinking. Choosing to value and enjoy the drink mindfully and not something that’s a routine habit is key.

So now picture the scene once again – it’s 8 pm. Laptops are shut, and someone at office says, “Let’s grab a drink”. And you say, “I want to start early tomorrow, so can’t do late drinks” or you say, “Do you want to postpone this for the weekend instead? I’d like to share a drink with you”. Or when your friend calls late evening for a destressing drink because he/she had a bad day, you respond, “How about a post dinner stroll instead?”

You get the flow…even a walk, a workout, music evening, a shower, yoga, or even ten minutes of quiet meditation can create relaxing transition in physiology without the physiological cost that alcohol brings.

In cases where one cannot say no—the ““Optical Drink” hack works—a soda with a lime wedge that looks like a Gin & Tonic, allowing one to stay in the conversation without the hangover. Bottomline is—replacing alcohol as the primary way to decompress makes a big long-term difference.

With Gen Z and some millennials prioritizing health, there is a small shift happening and in fact we are seeing some changes in preferred ways of socializing. Think of coffee or chai meetings instead of late-night drinks. Team breakfast or lunch meets rather than dinner with colleagues or even friends. Enrolling for a short activity like pickleball or dance or a Zumba session rather than connecting by sitting at a bar over a drink. Meeting a busy friend for a post dinner or morning walk rather than catching up over beer. Some other social opportunities to explore would be shared workouts, book clubs, city walks, dance workshops, skill-based workshops, board game meets, even simple checking-in during the workday which often create stronger bonds than hours at a bar ever could.

Socializing doesn’t have to disappear without alcohol. It just needs a broader definition.

You can have it all.

Yes—career, relations and good health—you can have it all. It is easy to assume that poor health and the stress that comes with it is just the price of success. It does not have to be.

You don’t need to drink to belong. You don’t need to explain your choices. You don’t need to opt out of your career to protect your health. Work or social life and health should not have to be at crossroads. The most successful professionals we see are not the ones who drink the most, but the ones who know when to pause, when to choose differently, and when to protect their capacity. That is not discipline for discipline’s sake. That is sustainability. And in the long run, sustained efforts are what keeps careers and relations thriving.

The next time, ask yourself: Is this drink fuelling my connection, or is it just taxing my tomorrow?

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About Neha

Neha is M.Sc. Dietetics, Certified Diabetes Educator and Founder – Snack Right. She is an avid traveller, foodie and loves catching up with friends and family. Professionally, she tries to promote healthy balanced lifestyle for all ages.

She can be reached on neha.pandits@gmail.com

Life is an intoxicating experience, it teaches us so much. It takes us through myriad experiences – some good and some not so good – and similarly we meet people on this journey – some great and some not so. In all of this, life flows on, but sometimes there are severe disruptions in this journey. The fun lies in how we tackle these impediments – do we let tragedy define us or let our resilience win over it? In my case, I have always believed that life is such a wonderful journey that we should live every moment of it and treat each day as a blessing.

Life has a way of throwing curveballs; the trick is to constantly focus on the positives in life. I was born into one of the most famous families of Kolkata, Lahabari which is considered a ‘bonedi bari’ or old family of repute. These are the old opulent families that came into prominence in late nineteenth to early twentieth century and dominated the commercial space of Calcutta.  Messrs Prawn Kissen Law & Co., the family firm was established in 1839, and my family migrated to Calcutta from Chinsurah (a suburb near Kolkata) in 1857. Hailing originally from Ramgarh in Ayodhya, my family till date hosts the most important of all Bengali festivals – the Durga Puja. Our family deity Sree Sree Joy Joy Maa holds the focal place in our family and especially in my life.

My life has been quite a roller coaster ride. I am the only child of my parents born nearly thirteen years after my parents’ marriage, I was indeed the apple of their eye. In 2012, my world came crashing down when I lost my parents in a span of a mere seven months and three days – with my mother passing away on the 20^th of April 2012 and my father on the 23^rd of November 2012. I found solace in academics. Being a student of history, I started to research my own family and also the caste I belong to – the Subarnabaniks. This caste is unique to Bengal and were originally dealers in bullion and money lenders.

Research meant hunting for original sources in archives especially colonial archives scattered in Kolkata, the West Bengal State Archives, in New Delhi – the National Archives of India and in London – the British Library. I discovered travelling solo as a wonderful option to deal with grief alongside my scholarly pursuits. Besides London, I loved traveling to Europe and discovering places like Paris, Rome, Athens, Barcelona, Madrid and Lisbon, among others. Life seemed to fall into a semblance of peace.

As mentioned earlier, I hail from one of the oldest families in Kolkata which celebrates Durga Puja in all its pomp and splendor. The system of deciding the host of a particular year’s puja and the daily worship is through a rotation system. My grandfather and my father never got a turn in their lifetime. Come 2019 and it was our (my late father’s) turn to host the Durga Puja that year. Our next turn to do this would be half a century later – precisely fifty-four years later – in 2073!

But there was a problem – I was the only descendent of my father and there was no precedent of a daughter hosting a family puja. I persisted and was able to prevail upon the elders in the extended family – I became the first daughter in the family to host the puja. My logic was that since I was unmarried, my gotra (lineage that is linked to a particular ancient sage) had not changed, and I was well within my ritualistic right to conduct the puja. An irrefutable but difficult proposition for the conservative elements in our extended family. I must mention that widows are allowed to carry on with their late husbands’ turns but to give the daughter the ritualistic right of a son was quite a bitter pill to swallow indeed.

I had a total of one hundred and twenty days of worship allotted to me. The turn for worship is termed ‘pala’ and the person conducting the same is called the ‘paladar’ and the daily worship is known as ‘nitya seba.’ With several trials and tribulations, the turn for worship finally ended but then Covid 19 hit us and my life, like that of all others, came to a grinding halt.

With restrictions easing out, I was back in Europe – now exploring cities like Amsterdam, Prague, Budapest, Vienna, Warsaw, Berlin and Brussels, nearer home I went to Angkor Wat. Just a mere six days after returning from my trip to Angkor Wat, on the 5^th of September 2023, I was admitted to the hospital with severe pain in my abdomen.

What followed next was a tragic tale of epic proportions, a severe case of medical negligence resulting in a total hospitalization of eighty days in coma, three cardiac arrests, sepsis – all thrown in the mix. Even after two years, till date, I struggle with my daily routine and grapple with a chronic foot drop.

The silver lining to my cloud has been my friends and professors who came together in a consorted mission to save my life as I lay totally unconscious, oblivious to the fact that all my savings as well as the limit on my health insurance had long since been exhausted. Literally, a coordination committee was set up to raise funds to save me by my friends and professors. In all this, my paternal family members were conspicuously absent.

The last two years have been such a wonderful journey replete with problems but what a discovery of kindness in random people. How wonderful it is to simply enjoy a cup of tea, a smile with a passerby or a conversation with a friend. It is these small human interactions that keep me going. Faith is also a huge gift too. While the medical issues persist to this day, I have faith that there is always a friend somewhere who is ready to hold my hand.

Whatever life throws at you, keep going on with the faith that some blessing is on the way. With my book on my family history coming out earlier this year, I wish to begin a new chapter in my life. I eagerly look forward to life with all its challenges since challenges are the biggest blessing – they prove to us that we are capable of much more than we give ourselves credit for.

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About Supriya Law:

Supriya Law is currently pursuing her Phd in History from Calcutta University. Her area of interest lies in the history of colonial Calcutta of late nineteenth to early twentieth century especially focusing on the mercantile families of that time. She is also the author of Living with the Past: The Law Family of Calcutta (Primus Books, 2025).

She can be reached at supriya.law@gmail.com

Sometimes I wish I had kept my CA study materials. Not for reference, but because they were a sure way to put me to sleep, which is a rare commodity these days. I don’t know how the current books are, but in those times despite my youthful earnestness, I could not make head or tail of the text, often nodding off within an hour, even at midday. That, coupled with my obstinacy to stay away from tuition classes, meant that I needed multiple attempts before I cleared my finals, further shattering my self-confidence already at its lowest ebb.

It wasn’t just me, in my many rounds of the examination centres, I came across many of my school and college scholars, some studious nerds, others brilliant at academics; all appearing sheepish as they tried to avoid me, embarrassed that they still hadn’t passed after so many years.  As I saw it, there was nothing to be ashamed of, with a low single digit pass percentage, it was essentially a lottery.

No doubt you needed to put in the requisite effort; also, in addition your stars needed to align, so that lady luck would shine on you. It was a literal manifestation of the crux of the teachings expounded by the Bhagavad Gita, “Do your best, but do not worry about the results”. Though it was quite frustrating, wondering what more one needed to do to get through, the dropout rate too was significant.

I had witnessed at least a couple of friends admit defeat, after toiling for years. No doubt, it developed reserves of patience and discipline that stood them in good stead in their subsequent careers, but they simply couldn’t wait any longer. The pressures of settling down often compelling them to take that agonizing decision, after having invested so many of their prime years in something that took them nowhere.

Of those who gave up, a close friend went on to rise in the corporate echelons to positions of responsibility, both home and abroad. Conversely there’s another, who didn’t quite recover from the shock. Previously cocky and confident, he spiralled into depression, which turned his life into a muddle.

The only reason I persevered was because I met my wife (incidentally a ranker, standing second among women during the finals). The long hours and frustration during articleship played cupid, beating hollow even the best matchmaking auntie that ever existed. It was her patient help and guidance through my studies, coupled with my determination to be worthy of her that finally pushed me through what I can liken to be the eye of the needle. But the toil had already taken its toll on me, so I made up my mind never to practice. Instead, I took the easy way out and joined the family business.

Surprisingly, though I consider myself an introvert, it was my interactions with customers that gave me the most satisfaction – forming lasting relationships that have continued even though we may no longer be doing business together. This reinforced my belief, that in a marketplace full of shops selling similar produce, service is what distinguishes one from the rest.

Case in point is my best friend, Rajesh, who is now a partner at a reputable CA firm. He has earned quite a name for himself – not just for his knowledge, dedication, and enviable work ethic, but more so his man management skills that can never be taught through books. Despite constantly burning the midnight oil right through the year, he keeps his sense of humour intact, not only with the clientele but also with his staff.

As for me, though I lacked nothing, I felt something was missing. I was fortunate to have received so much from the universe, but in return gave back almost nothing. In fact, after almost an entire lifetime of playing safe by the book, on the cusp of fifty, I decided rather than match up to other people’s yardstick, I’d rather do things I’ve always dreamt of doing before it’s too late.

For someone as shy as I was (the only prize I got in school was for the shyest boy in class), reading became my refuge, and consequently a means to express myself. This skill reached fruition when I would put pen to paper. Sitting at home during the covid pandemic enabled me to give full flow to my creative juices. Just for fun, sitting in my balcony every morning. I’d dash off a page of my thoughts and follow it up by disseminating it to my contacts on WhatsApp. Their feedback motivated me to keep going beyond a thousand days on the trot. Even after things returned to a semblance of normality, I continued to (and still do) pen down my ramblings.

I have always loved exploring parts of the city right from my teenage years when my dad would send me on errands to various company offices in the Fort precinct. The book “Bombay, The Cities Within” detailing the history of our city fascinated me, and I would take visitors from abroad around the area on a tour, relying on some of the facts gleaned from its pages.

On Republic Day in 2020, I took my passion a little further, by being more organized via a WhatsApp group. Though the response wasn’t quite what I anticipated, for me it has always been a personal voyage of discovery. Though severely constrained by the lockdown necessitated by the covid epidemic, over the next couple of years I discovered more about the city than I had done in the first fifty. Most astonishing were the hidden gems unearthed literally in my own backyard, treasures in places no one would expect, and the interesting people that not just accompanied me on my walks, but also some that I met along the way.

Thus, over the last few years, I have followed my twin passions of writing and exploring my own city vigorously – both have given me wings to soar. Consequently, I am not just feeling liberated, but I am also living life to the fullest.

And I am not the only one who has digressed from the profession – another friend Ashwin did get into practice, but his heart was never in it. After a few years, he left for Australia where he learnt the technique of wine making. He later returned to India to set up a winery of his own. Today, his wines are rated among the best in the country. This just goes to show that Chartered Accountants aren’t quite as uninteresting as some make us out to be!

How many of us feel that if we had a chance we would have lived our lives quite differently? That’s what I felt too, but as I grow older, I realize that that’s how things were meant to be, and try to focus on what is, rather than be caught up in what could have been or worry about what may happen. We are often so preoccupied with living up to someone else’s expectations that we forget to connect with our true selves. Too often we get bogged down in the marsh of the past, or the fog obscuring our future. We forget to live in the present, making the most of the ‘here and now’. So, this is my message to you – Take a little time away from the hurly burly of living to spend some time with yourself, listening to your heart, to that inner voice which, however faint, is your true guide.

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About Hashim Mirza:

Hashim is a CA by profession who currently looks after the family wholesale business of greeting cards and fancy stationery. Travel, food, and reading are some of his enduring passions.  After turning fifty, he has indulged himself, making the most of the time left, which he considers as a bonus. Giving full flow to his various interests, he thrives on exploring the nooks and corners of the city. He has also managed to divert his creative juices by writing on issues that interest him, starting a daily blog from the first day of the covid lockdown. Feeling blessed to have received so much love from all around him, he has learnt to live life to the fullest, accepting and making the most of whatever lies in store for him, taking each day as it comes.

He can be reached at mirzanent@gmail.com

A recent incident at work caught my attention. A senior employee went up to her junior’s desk and pulled his ear for some mistake he might have made. At first, I thought it must be friendly banter; maybe they shared that kind of bond. But as I looked more closely, their body language told a different story. The junior was squirming uncomfortably, and the senior had no trace of humour on her face. She was scolding him like a teacher scolds a child, loud enough for everyone nearby to hear. And he endured it silently with his head hung low. I looked around, everyone was silently watching the event unfold, strangely accepting such behaviour as normal. At least some higher authority could have stepped in and set things straight. But it seemed like no one cared, or they believed the treatment was justifiable.

I could feel the junior’s discomfort and embarrassment because I used to feel the same way while dealing with similar situations in the past. His silence felt familiar, I could guess the reason behind it. For most of us, staying silent appears less confrontational. Confrontations can lead to conflict; silence feels safer, and it does the work – temporarily. But I believe that eventually, it gives rise to unrest and resentment.

We start villainising our bosses in our minds, venting out our frustration to friends and family. Once, while venting thus to a friend, he asked me an important question: “Why are you tolerating this behaviour?” That made me pause and reflect on what was holding me back. I realised that I was afraid to speak up, having never done that before.

In the epic tale of the Mahabharata, when Arjuna hesitates to fight against his own kin, Krishna reminds him that refusing to act against injustice is itself a form of injustice. Because when we tolerate injustice, we indirectly encourage it. At the workplace—or generally—setting boundaries, conveyed ever so politely, does make a difference. I agree it’s easier said than done. Voices can break, tears can flow, and if you’re anything like me, fear will take over every cell in your body, but you know what, that’s when courage gets a chance to shine through.

Courage isn’t born from confidence. It’s born in such moments—when your voice trembles with fear, when your heart hammers in your ears—and yet you face your fears with conviction. It can bring about a quiet sense of calm confidence because it is in that moment that you stop abandoning yourself and finally stand up for yourself.

This principle equally applies to personal relationships. We’ve all experienced swallowing our hurt to avoid an argument, convincing ourselves it’s not worth the trouble. But how long can we bury our feelings? Unless we tell the other person that their words or behaviour are hurting us, how would they know? They may not think that their behaviour is hurtful, but what may be acceptable for them does not necessarily have to be acceptable for you too. And yet what is it that we usually end up doing when we’re hurt? Instead of taking time to cool down, reflect, and calmly convey what we truly feel, we end up hurting those who hurt us. And the game goes on, and resentment keeps building.

By speaking up, you’re not just helping yourself; you’re in fact helping the other person to realise the need to be more empathetic. They may not really appreciate the negative impact their behaviour is having on you, and frankly, if you don’t speak up, they will never ever know. So, it’s not just about you, it’s about working to make the relationship better. Of course, it works both ways – it’s crucial to respect other people’s boundaries too.

If someone tells us that they’re hurt or uncomfortable with our words or actions, it’s upon us to rise to the occasion to do better. The onus to apologise and bring positive changes to our lives is on us. Setting boundaries in no way means we shut ourselves off to constructive feedback. But we understand that such feedback comes from a place of helping us to be better and not making us feel bad about ourselves.

Someone may or may not agree with our boundaries; that’s upon them. What’s up to us is to establish them. Unless we speak up for ourselves, why would anyone else? And why should we need someone else to fight our battles? Aren’t we capable and accountable for ourselves? Next time we’re spoken down to, let’s do something about it. If we’re afraid of the dire consequences that may entail, especially at our workplace, we can find alternative ways to address them.

This is where HR policies come in. Such policies should take into consideration the impact that such behaviour has on employees’ mental health. Like the POSH Act, which safeguards women employees from sexual harassment at the workplace, organisations need internal frameworks to address subtler forms of abuse. Psychological and emotional abuse often goes unnoticed because it leaves no visible scars and is also difficult to talk about. But the scars they leave on an employee’s confidence, mental health and overall well-being, can be profound.

For instance, a fresher who witnesses such abusive behaviour in their first job may just accept it to be the norm. Their confidence may be bruised before it gets a chance to take flight. For avoiding such mishaps, HR should clearly outline what is acceptable behaviour and what isn’t, along with ways to address unacceptable behaviour. An effective and approachable grievance redressal mechanism, suitably empowered to address these issues, would be of great help.

The redressal mechanism should ensure that employees feel safe to speak up. A fair and unbiased approach must be followed by the management in resolving such issues, with a focus on learning and accountability rather than blame. Regular refresher trainings should be conducted by HR to help drive the message across. While the policies can’t be set in stone, their intent and focus should be aligned with the organisation’s most important asset – its people and their well-being.

At the end of the day, what matters most is self-belief. We cannot let anyone take that away from us. If nothing else works, we need to step up for ourselves even through the doubts and fears until we realise that we are not victims; we are victors.

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About CA Kenali Shah:

Kenali is a member of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of India and a commerce graduate from Narsee Monjee college, Mumbai. She has recently stepped into the world of storytelling and is deeply grateful to share something so close to her heart. She is always open to exploring, learning and growing with life.

She can be reached at kenalishah@yahoo.com