There is a proverb in the Nigerian Igbo culture “Oran a azu nwa” which loosely translates to “It takes the community/village to raise a child.” I cannot agree more – let me explain…
In 2023, I discovered I was pregnant — an indescribable mix of joy, excitement, and anxiety, all at once surreal and overwhelming. And then came the big question- what about my career? Should I take a break or work like before and think about it when the time comes? Even though I was still in my first trimester, my classical overthinking side of me dubbed myself as being ‘not good mom material’ – after all, here I was thinking about my career when life was about to bestow upon me the most precious of gifts. The calmer and more sensible side of me assured me, “You’re a person too, with your own dreams and ambitions. After all those years of earning your CA degree and spending so much of your life at work, it is not at all selfish to think about your career.”
Once I calmed my mind, I roped in my ever-patient husband to help enact the possible scenarios of my conversation with the boss on the subject. When I shared the news with him, he first congratulated me and then proceeded to take me off a prestigious project I was scheduled to work on – one which involved commuting to the client place 5 days a week. He instead put me on a project that allowed me to work remotely. This gesture both humbled and touched me. The invincible young professional in me did feel a tinge of regret as the earlier project was with a bigger client with more “visibility” (the singularly most important thing in corporate life). But the mature and more sensible me realized the practical benefits of working remotely especially in the first trimester, where nausea and weakness can catch one off guard.
On the home front, things had been a little tough where owing to my father-in-law’s fluctuating health after his paralytic stroke, the constant tense environment did not seem all too conducive to welcome a new life. In consultation with my doctor, my husband and I decided that my parents’ home was more suited for the delivery. Thanks to my boss’ thoughtfulness, I continued working till the last month of my pregnancy from my parents’ place.
In 2024, my son was born – and right from his first cry, life became a whirlwind. Having thoroughly enjoyed the pampering at my parents’ place, in month 5, I was back at my husband’s house with my little one. Here too, I was in for some more pampering – I was a new mom after all! My father-in-law had recovered quite well and with the little one around, his health parameters stabilised at a greater pace, much to everyone’s joy and relief.
Soon, came the million-dollar question – should I extend my leave or resume work? My employer offered me an additional six months of leave (unpaid of course, but that which allowed me to be on the payroll). Could I hope for a project which allowed me to work remotely again? The nagging worry about how my son would cope without my constant presence, coupled with the anxiety of enduring work with just about 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night, thankfully did not douse the tiny hope that kindled within me that maybe, just maybe, I could manage everything.
By God’s grace, I hit the jackpot – my organisation gave me a remote work opportunity with a new started project – it seemed like it almost waited for me to join back! With fantastic moral support from my family and organisation, I resumed work, when my son turned six and a half months. Initially hesitant, each day helped me strengthen my resolve — showing me that with a little push, I could be both a devoted mom and a committed professional.
There were long days and longer nights – days of complex deliverables, calls that stretched beyond baby’s dinner time (with my mother-in-law stepping in effectively to cajole him and make him eat), late night calls conflicting with his bedtime (with my husband trying his best to pacify him), nights waking up multiple times to soothe the little one’s colic pain – you get the picture, don’t you?
Support flowed not just from home, but from work as well. My colleagues were unfailingly empathetic and kind — teammates often went the extra mile to finish deliverables early so I’d have less to review, and a senior colleague once stepped in unasked to handle my portion of a critical client task when my baby was running a high fever. In those moments, I felt deeply valued and uplifted — their generosity reminded me that true teamwork extends far beyond deadlines and deliverables. I laughed, I cried — overwhelmed with gratitude for the love that carried me through.
Every day was a beautiful chaos of emotions — a fleeting pang of guilt for the nights I missed tucking him in, balanced by the sheer wonder of watching him grow: his first giggle, his first crawl, his first word — “Amma” — and the countless small miracles in between.
Six months after I had rejoined, the project ended. We won a team award and several client accolades and this time, i did not feel proud — I felt humbled. I’ve come to realize that success isn’t measured by how seamlessly we juggle it all, but by how deeply we cherish the people in one’s village that make it possible.
My son is eighteen months old now — curious, mischievous, and endlessly amusing. I continue to navigate the dance between work and motherhood, and on most days, I find a quiet joy and peace amid the beautiful chaos I never knew could coexist so harmoniously!
About Ankita Benegal:
Ankita is a member of the ICAI and a commerce graduate from St Xavier’s college, Kolkata. Owing to her father’s transferable military job and then her own professional calling, Ankita has lived in 8 cities and speaks 5 languages. In her free time, Ankita likes to update herself about personal finance, read both fiction and non- fiction books, watch movies (read binge Netflix), try out various recipes with her foodie family and go for hikes.
She can be reached at ankitabenegal@gmail.com
