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THE DANCE OF DUALITIES

In the sacred chambers of every soul, an epic battle echoes – a relentless clash between the noble might of Ram and the intricate complexities of Ravana, declaring in unison, “We’ve all got a Ram and a Ravana inside us; the choice, the thunderous roar of destiny lies in which force we empower.”

When discussions twirl around the eternal battle of light versus dark, my mind invariably turns to the legendary tale of Ram and Ravana in the Ramayana. The dance of dualities finds its rhythm in this narrative, illustrating not only the age-old battle of good versus evil but also serving as an exploration into human nature and psychology. Within each of us, there exists the potential to sway towards the light or the dark – to empower the virtuous Ram or the mischievous Ravana within. Our true strength lies in our willingness to consciously choose to be better.

Amidst the trending personality quizzes, let us give a nod to Carl Jung, for attempting to map the human psyche as broadly as possible. He wisely put it:

“To be quite accurate, human nature is simply what it is; it has its dark and its light sides. The sum of all colours is grey – light on a dark background or dark on light.”

Born in the sunny island of Sri Lanka to a sage, Ravana was not just a mischievous demon king. No, indeed! He wore the crown of a king, the laurels of a scholarly genius, the mantle of an extraordinary ruler, and even the hat of a veena maestro. Talk about having a multi-talented villain in the neighbourhood! But alas, despite his intellectual prowess and multitasking finesse, he struggled to implement his vast knowledge. It is akin to possessing a palette of vibrant neon colours, but choosing only shades of grey to paint your canvas.

In the grand scheme of things, Ravana emerges as a character painted in hues of grey, much like the rest of us. But here is the kicker – his evil deeds spoke a lot louder than his knowledge, etching his name in history as a symbol of darkness. Exactly what Albus Dumbledore meant when he said, “It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities”.

In our internal tug-of-war, where virtues and vices engage in a waltz of profound complexity, let us delve into transformative self-help insights, guiding the human psyche through the entwined narratives of Ram and Ravana as they share the stage, throwing not only punches but also thought-provoking punchlines.

Embrace your inner Ram and Ravana: Begin the journey of self-discovery by embracing the profound co-existence of light and dark within. Self-help embarks on a transformative path, encouraging us to embrace the entirety of our being, recognising the noble virtues akin to Ram and the complex intricacies reminiscent of Ravana. Your inner Ravana should no longer be shrouded in secrecy – the shadows within should no longer be branded as inherent evil. Instead, they are the facets of human experience that, when recognised and accepted, foster profound understanding, promoting personal growth and resilience. Time to witness the unexpected alliance of Ram and Ravana – shaking hands with each other – they are in a tag team like no other!

Conscious Choice – The VIP section of Destiny’s Nightclub: The legacy we leave is crafted through the choices we make. Enter the realm of wisdom as Dumbledore reemerges. No, he is not pulling any rabbits out of hats; he is pulling profound wisdom out of his sleeves. Your abilities are the show props, but the real magic lies in the choices you make, evoking thunderous applause from the audience! Ravana did possess the show props, but his magic show never met success!

Dive into the realm of conscious decision-making, where self-help prompts us to recognize that true strength lies in our ability to make choices that align with our higher virtues. Picture yourself in the VIP section of Destiny’s Nightclub, making conscious choices while sipping on wisdom cocktails. And the Club’s ideal bouncer? The Ram inside you – ensuring that only the virtuous get past the velvet rope. Because who wants the mischievous Ravana causing chaos in the VIP lounge of your life?

Ravana’s Internal Struggles- A Cautionary Tale in Self-Help: Reflect on Ravana’s narrative as a cautionary tale within the self-help paradigm. What cast him as the villain of the story? Were his traits influenced by the stains left on his soul through trials like Vedavathi’s curse, weaving a web of guilt and remorse? Perhaps it was the strained relationship with his brother Vibhishana, marked by betrayal and dissent, or the loss of Mandodari’s unwavering support and understanding. Did Ravana require a PhD in internal chaos management, and could therapy have been the solution? Does not that leave us pondering whether such interventions could have genuinely altered the trajectory of Ravana’s character?

Now, asking for help might sound scarier than a horror movie marathon, but hey, even Ravana could have used a little therapy. Admitting you need help may demand an extraordinary amount of courage and strength, but the transformative power it holds can reshape your life for the better. Embrace the opportunity to rewrite your story or to give it a better ending, because why not – your life could probably use a few plot twists along the way!

Mindful Living – The VIP Backstage Pass: Mindful living is not just a backstage pass; it is the VIP backstage pass to the concert of your life! Integrate the lessons learned from Ram and Ravana’s dance into daily life. Mindful living, a cornerstone of self-help, involves being present in every decision, acknowledging the dance of dualities within, and aligning actions with the values that lead to personal fulfilment and growth. In your grand journey, find solace in the awareness that every thread, every choice weaves a narrative uniquely yours – an epic worthy of celestial archives!

In the wise words of Sirius Black, “We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.” So, choose your dance moves wisely, because my friend, you are not just the dancer; you are the choreographer of your destiny!

May your journey be filled with your choice of punchlines, plot twists that align with your virtues and a standing ovation for the lead dancer – you!


About the author:

Srinidhi Vinod, a B. Com graduate is currently on her quest to conquer the realm of Chartered Accountancy, undergoing articleship at a leading audit firm in Coimbatore. Beyond the rigours of number crunching, she harbours a deep passion for art, finding pure joy in creative pursuits. Diving into the magical world of literature, she finds refuge in the spellbinding tales of Harry Potter. She also delights in embarking on culinary adventures, earning her the title of a foodie. Her love for reading and travel serve as the wind beneath her curious wings to unravel the world around her.

She can be reached on srinidhiv19@gmail.com

WOMAN: YOU ARE WORTHY!

Most use ‘worthiness’ as a fancy concept, but few dig deep to understand what’s hidden beneath something so powerful. As evident, unworthiness is a malady which afflicts all mankind. As an age-old epidemic, it creeps into the system, feeding on the ego since forever.

In these modern times, every person suffers from the perils of competition and comparison, which makes one feel unworthy of fully expressing their uniqueness. Consequently, we all become perpetual doers trying to prove our worth by stressing/ stretching to gather accolades and appreciations from significant others.

It’s obvious that only the ego wins in such a battle against oneself. Sadly, our value is measured by what we do rather than Who We Are. Intrinsically, this is how our society conditions us, preparing us for failure and disappointments. Strangely, in the name of hard work, we begin attracting hardships, primarily because we believe that we are unworthy of success if we haven’t struggled enough.

Not surprising, the statistics for unworthiness felt by women far exceeds that felt by men, as a woman’s threshold for endurance is way higher than her counterpart’s. Women are ranked somewhere at the lower bottom on the scale of worthiness. Interestingly, women are themselves responsible for getting to this stage, because undoubtedly, they are good at doubting their whole purpose and existence. So, what really is unworthiness and why is it particularly of concern for women! Let’s explore the broad spectrum of how it has damaged the core essence of the female fraternity.

As children, we are all born worthy, experiencing the Self as pure consciousness. However, education and conditioning create the idea of separation from Source. Soon, we start investing our powers in others and adhering to their commands, believing that everybody else knows what is best for us, other than our own selves. For a woman, this manipulation begins rather early because she is made to believe that she is inferior to a man.

The interesting thing to note here is that a woman always knows that she is being trampled upon, misjudged and also misled, but the courage to stand up for who she is always takes a back seat. The question here is, when will a woman show up to honour her wellbeing and embrace her femininity?

The truth is that women are positioned at the leading edge of the universe, representing Mother Earth, the Shakti, which is the seat of manifestation. Wouldn’t it be great if women begin seeing themselves for who they are, and claim what’s theirs to celebrate and cherish? It’s crucial that the Kundalini is awakened so this power operates at its highest potential and guides humankind towards their evolution.

The time is now and the job is ours to do. Many will crumble under the fear of opening up to Source because our treasure has long been hidden from us, hence women are known to belittle themselves, not knowing that it’s a disgrace to not celebrate the feminine energy. As the woman breathes life into matter, it’s her privilege to rise before the sun and embrace her own light.

Dear Woman, are you ready for such a destiny that calls for you to prioritise your purpose over your personal agendas? For only those women will be deemed Heros in the truest sense, and who are ready to be christened as Goddesses.

Claiming one’s worthiness is not a battle to be fought where others stand across the fence. It’s not a war outside, but it certainly is a war within. If women are done shadowing others, then they must know that they would have to create breakthroughs in the way they perceive the world.

Most women are busy victimising themselves and in doing so, they play small, satisfied as being the ones who sacrifice. Morality overpowers authenticity every single time. It’s important to recognise that when a woman seeks attention by playing ‘poor me’, she compromises on her dignity by choosing a poor substitute instead of declaring that She exists.

As women, we need to let the world know that we have the power to alter destinies. Many fight for women empowerment, but only those who believe that they are not empowered join the clan. Here is where we need to change gears.

Are we ready to believe that we are equal?

A woman doesn’t have to fight for her worthiness, she IS worthy. She only has to Believe that She Is. This will require not just courage but also commitment to rise above the conditioning of treating the self as secondary. And to do that, we’d need to fight the demons of our own minds. Indeed, it is the mind that needs an overhaul! Our minds are our creative tools and once we alter the hardened neurological pathways, the universe will oblige the Devi within. Nothing comes in our way as much as we do. This is the seeming challenge to conquer.

There are umpteen ways that can be exemplified as a ‘To Do List’ for a woman to follow, so she feels worthy. But that’s not the focus here. Nor are we suggesting any pills on worthiness. This article is a wake-up call to all the beautiful women who need to awaken to their own inner power and inner beauty, so as to recognise that they are the Source of their own joy, love and peace. That they need nothing to complete themselves for they are whole and complete already.

This is a reminder to every Parvati, that her Shiva is within her and she can feel safe and secure in her own Being. This is for You and Me to know and believe that we are magnificent and our hearts are abodes of divine love. And when it comes to worthiness, it’s now totally up to us to honour it. We can’t wait any longer for somebody to announce it to us.

Claiming our worthiness is about creating a vibrational shift in the way we feel about ourselves. And if we have to bring that shift today, then we will have to claim the Divine feminine and appreciate that we are made in the image and likeness of Maa Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati. If this isn’t enough for us to awaken to our true identity, then what is?

WAKE UP WOMAN, FOR YOU ARE WORTHY! YOU ARE SOURCE AND A PRECIOUS PRICELESS GEM! AHAM BRAHAMASAMI…..SOURCE I AM!


About : Naz Chougley

Naz is an Aspirations Coach, an Emotional Therapist and a Meditation Teacher with over 20 years of experience. Her expertise involves providing perspectives beyond the confines of the logical mind, to support working professionals as well as individuals across all age groups. As a Law of Attraction Teacher, she helps people question their limiting beliefs, aspire higher and set intentions for personal evolution. She instils the values of gratitude, surrenderance, humility, acceptance, appreciation and present moment awareness. Her purpose is to enhance the wellbeing of people and enable them to recognise their worthiness, so they can attract their personal abundance.

Naz can be reached on nazclg@gmail.com

The Quest for the Meaning of Life

BE WHERE YOU ARE

Disconnected in a Connected World

A new drug has recently been making its way around town, turning its consumers into addicts. After enslaving the adult population, it has now turned its attention towards the younger generation. Do you know what I’m talking about? It’s nothing but smartphone addiction.

It all began with the empty swings in the park. The playground is now less crowded than it used to be. COVID-19 had a definite impact, but our children have not ventured outside their homes even after COVID-19. Why should they when they have their friend Mr. Ring-Ring at home?

To keep the kids entertained, we’ve designed their lives so that they can’t eat without watching a YouTube video or sleep without playing a mobile game. Worse, children now have access to the internet and the dark corners of social media, where they are exposed to inappropriate content for their age. Are we denying our children the opportunity to experience childhood?

With so much dependence on smartphones, we are raising an army of human robots devoid of human touch, healthy lifestyles, emotions, and feelings. They turn out to be overly smart, dishonest, selfish, and competitive, with little or no regard for the well-being of others. But are they the ones to blame?

Children follow in the footsteps of their elders. But what can be done when the older generation themselves, cannot live without their smart toys?

This reminds me of a recent conversation I came to know about –
M – Rahul!!! Finished dinner?
R – Not yet Mom.
M – Look at the time. What are you up to now?
R – I’m with the boys’ mom. I’ll eat soon.
M – Don’t lie to me. Finish dinner now and then do whatever you want to.
R – The boys are waiting for me, Mom.
M – You are finishing dinner now, or do you want me to come up to your room now and take away your phone?
R – No ma. Give me 5 mins. We’re just wrapping up this group call. I’ll TTYL.
M – OK (Thumbs up)

You’ve probably guessed by now. This is not a typical conversation. The mother and her son are texting about dinner while sitting in the same house; the son is on the phone with his friends. This is where the world is heading. With a smartphone in hand, the entire family has retreated into separate rooms to stay connected with the unreal world, forgetting about the people who live with them in the same house.

We have already lost a lot due to our smartphones without even realizing it –

1. Falling attention span –

Did you know that people’s attention spans are getting shorter? According to Dr. Gloria Mark’s research, average screen attention was 2.5 minutes in 2004, 75 seconds in 2012, and 47 seconds in the last five years.

According to research, young adults aged 18 to 25 check their phones 56 times per day, or every 15 minutes.  This is largely due to the constant flow of information we face daily. Our phones are flooded with notifications, some of which are useful but many of which are not, so it is critical to be mindful of what distracts our productivity.

2. Negative impact on relationships –

With the increased usage of WhatsApp and SMS, we have reduced the number of face-to-face interactions with the people around us. We have lost the ability to read faces and to understand feelings through quivering voices. Nowadays, true intentions and feelings are hidden behind various emoticons that don’t even come close to expressing what one is feeling. We’ve started living in a world that is far from reality.

3. Increasing mental health issues –

Excessive social media use has been linked to depression caused by comparison and feelings of inadequacy. There has also been undue pressure to conform to a particular way of life or standard. This is because someone’s reality is frequently compared to another’s polished bright lifestyle. However, what one fails to understand is the reality behind the scenes of the bright smiles.

So, how do we step out of this addiction?

1. Acceptance and self-awareness –

The first step towards self-improvement is admitting that you need to change. The next thing to do is to figure out the level of addiction. Ironically, several apps on the internet can tell you how much time you spend on your phone. If you spend more than 4-5 hours per day on your phone, it’s time to reconsider your lifestyle.

By beginning to monitor your usage and determining when and where you spend your time, you can become more aware of how you spend it and decide what is important enough to allow as a distraction. You could also try a digital detox weekend to see how you’d do without your phone.

2. Reduce usage of infinity pool apps –

Dopamine is known as the “feel-good hormone,” and it is the hormone that motivates you to do numerous activities. Authors of the book “Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day” discuss how certain apps are like infinity pools and can steal the dopamine meant for doing difficult tasks. Infinity pools are apps that entice you with constant engagement, making it difficult to leave. An example is the never-ending reels on Instagram and YouTube. They provide you with never-ending content with a single swipe of your hand, and you don’t realize that with each swipe, you are swiping away hours and extinguishing your dopamine secretion.

3. Replace with healthier habits –

The best way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a good one, and the best way to stop spending time on the phone is by using it for something else. The next time you feel your phone is drawing you in, pick up a book instead or start a new hobby that does not involve the internet. Do you require a short break?  Try going for a short walk without your phone. There will be a sense of loss at first, but this is how you will eventually gain freedom.

While our smartphones allow us to stay connected to the world 24 hours a day, they also take away our real world without our noticing. It is our responsibility as adults and elders to steer clear of this addiction and set good examples for the younger generation.

There is a Tamil proverb that translates to, “Even too much nectar is poison.”

It’s high time we break free from these 5.5-inch cages and enjoy the sweetness of the nectar in limited quantities.


About the AuthorCA. R. Shruthi

Shruthi Rajaram is a Chartered Accountant and Certified Fraud Examiner by profession, and a writer by passion. She currently holds a prominent role as an Internal Auditor in the Banking and Financial Services space. In her free time, you can find her face inside the pages of a heavy book. She is an active writer and writes across various social media platforms. She is interested in topics of Human Psychology, Mindset, Biases, Habits, and Personal Development. She believes that there are no limits in life, and if there are, they are there only to be broken. Her long-term ambition is to write a best-selling book and be a member of the writing staff for a thriller television series.

She can be reached on: @ www.linkedin.com/in/shruthi-rajaram or @ shroothi.r@gmail.com

EMOTIONAL GAP

Though many of us have grumbled about not getting along with either the younger or older generation, have we ever wondered why this happens? Have we ever thought about why we are unable to relate to both these generations? Is it just the age we live in? What is this generation divide all about?

We all have feelings that we encounter on a daily basis. They add colour and purpose to our life, making it intriguing and fulfilling. Emotions, whether they be joy, sorrow, rage or love, have a significant impact on how we perceive and engage with the outside world. We experience extreme joy and excitement on occasions, and sadness or angst on another. Emotions have a significant impact on how we feel, think, act, and interact with others. Understanding our emotions makes life’s journey more rewarding and joyful by assisting us in making sense of who we are and of the people around us.

The term “generation gap” describes the differences and occasionally, the misunderstandings that take place between persons of various ages. Every generation has its own values, beliefs, and life experiences. Conflicts or disagreements between older and younger people can result from this. Each generation may perceive the other as either being out of touch with contemporary culture or lacking in their regard for our rich traditional practices. Acknowledging and accepting these distinctions can foster greater inter-generational harmony and partnership, enabling all people to share knowledge and collaborate for a better future.

Have you realised that emotional divide is another factor contributing to the generation gap? The emotional bond that we form with someone also determines the distance we feel from them.

In January 2023, I visited one of the tourist spots known as PARAMBIKULAM. The place borders both the states of Tamilnadu and Kerala and is home to many plants and animals. Parambikulam is a reserve forest and serves as one of the major water sources for both states. We were staying nearly 30 kms away from the dam and we were taken on a jungle safari to visit it.

The safari took us through a dense forest, after nearly 5 kilometers, we suddenly came across a small settlement of families. The next 25 kms were again through the dense forest with no human beings in sight. My thoughts, after travelling 30 kms, were still with the people in the settlement. All I had noticed were a few small houses, a temple, a small school probably for the kids there and a football ground. I felt EMOTIONALLY connected with them, and empathized with them – how terrible it must be for them – should a medical emergency arise, they have to travel to the nearby town called POLLACHI which is 50 kms away.

A few months later, in April 2023, I travelled to another place called MIRIK, a two-hour tedious journey from Siliguri. The road was literally a two-way track through a steep ghat section. I saw few settlements throughout the journey. They had no development facilities. I did not see any school or primary health center. All the residents between Siliguri and Mirik need to travel to either of these places in case of an emergency. Once I reached Mirik, however, I had forgotten about the people I saw during my journey. I enjoyed the pleasant weather, and was very eager to explore the place, its culture, its food, and way of living.

Once I returned to my hometown, I reminisced about both these trips, and I suddenly wondered – WHY WAS I NOT IN THE POSITION TO EMOTIONALLY CONNECT WITH THE PEOPLE ON MY WAY TO MIRIK AS I HAD DONE ON MY PREVIOUS TRIP?

After a lot of introspection, I realised that it was due to the emotional connection I felt with the culture and people in Parambikulam.

Every now and then I meet a lot of new people. As a Chartered Accountant, I have several opportunities to regularly talk to elders and youngsters alike – who are either my clients, professional acquaintances or articled assistants. In life as we age, we find it hard to understand the young more and more. We choose to blame the generation gap and move on.

We give so much importance to the intelligence quotient (IQ), but we never try to understand our own emotions. As we grow, we must mature, and as we go around interacting with people of all ages, we must adapt to their varied emotional needs.

The fact that I was able to connect emotionally with the local people (who were essentially my contemporaries) and was unable to do so with the other people (who were either younger or older than me) made a dent in my emotional quotient (EQ).

I believe that our profession demands that we equip ourselves to match the younger generation to stay in the competition – especially in the understanding and use of technological advancements. But no one has taught us how to stay emotionally connected with the younger or older generations. No one has taught us how to understand their emotional needs.

A quote that I read somewhere by the American journalist and social-political activist, Gloria Steinem comes to mind, “WE NEED TO REMEMBER ACROSS GENERATIONS THAT THERE IS AS MUCH TO LEARN AS THERE IS TO TEACH”

We are so very eager to teach when someone approaches us; we never get into the emotional need of the other generation. How beautiful would this world be if we stop, empathize, and try to understand each other EMOTIONALLY rather than hastily labelling these encounters. Until we start making an effort, the bridge will never get built.


About the AuthorCA M. Maalan Bharathi

Maalan Bharathi is a practicing chartered accountant from Coimbatore. He enjoys speaking and has spoken to students on a variety of subjects. He is pursuing several certifications in emotional intelligence since he is fascinated by understanding human emotions. Under the pen name “underage optimist”, he has written a variety of pieces because he loves to write so much.

He can be reached on: maalan.manickam@gmail.com

Choices and chances are pre-connected dots!

Since my childhood, I have wondered why my life is different. Is that the same doubt everyone has? Though we have distinct physical features, we hate comparison. Though we can see the path taken by successful people, we hesitate to follow them. Are we obsessed with being unique, or at the very least, safeguarding our originality? Our originality oozes out with the choices we make or the chances we take.

The favourite formative years:

With love and respect for the superstar Rajinikanth which is an integral code in every South Indian’s DNA, I remember my favourite line from a song featured in the famous movie ‘Padayappa’ which translated means, “We cannot choose either our parents, our physique, our birth or our death”.

The lyricist concludes by elucidating that the only choice we have is to ace the art of living the life we want.

The events of the past may appear faded in the albums but are still fresh in my memory. From an innocent kindergarten kid, I struggled through primary school with more than my fair share of an inferiority complex. The transformation came in the secondary school where I became bolder, only to reach my first milestone of rejection and failure in the higher secondary. Looking back now, these were my formative years.

The bud-to-blossom phase:

I vividly remember that Saturday evening, it was 2nd April 2011, I was on study leave for my 10th standard board exams, my eyes reluctantly glued to the screen of old CRT computer monitor, while everyone around me sat on the edge of their chairs/ sofas/ stools staring with bated breath at the television screen. The quiet was pierced by Ravi Shastri on the commentator mic, “Dhoni finishes off in style. A magnificent strike into the crowd! India lifts the World Cup after 28 years! “

For the very first time, I witnessed my 47-year-old dad transform into a young 19-year-old teen reliving the exhilarating event of the past. The joy and ecstasy on the faces of my father and brother made them appear to be siblings rather than father and son. I realised that such moments are a rarity and thrust away my biology books to vociferously join them in the celebrations. For a split second, I dared wonder, how would it be if I could do something which would be so life defining and exciting for my father. That moment and my thought is forever etched in my mind.

From a kid who had a singular goal of getting single-digit rank in term exams and revision exams, I started dreaming of becoming a responsible citizen. I started dreaming of wearing a doctor coat, a lawyer coat, a camouflaged police uniform, a civil servant and what not!

I prepared for the 12th board exams like a beast with subject books being my only priority. I ignored my health – both physical and mental and lost the race by a few marks. This setback in my higher secondary taught me the invaluable lesson of the need to have a Plan B with Plan A. This event brought about a very important paradigm shift, both internally and externally. Though the scent of flowers is inherent within the bud, the fragrance spreads only when the flower blossoms. Likewise, our core values and purpose emerge only as we mature.

First chance to make own choice:

I followed my gut and joined the National Cadet Corps. I was now straddling three disciplines, studying as an under-grad, I was also studying to be a CA and was an NCC cadet. My well-wishers advised me that I would be, “A jack of all trades, and a master of none”. My inner voice kept telling me, “A jack of all trades is a master of none, but often times better than a master of one”.

NCC was a decision made by choice, and CA was a decision by chance. Both have worked and shaped my nature. I am gratified that while I may not have become a Dhoni, I am Abi who is able to stand up for her own.

Decisions by choices make us and by chance mould us:

The decisions made by choice and taken by chance mould the individual. The former teaches us the importance of structured planning, being proactive and having systematic approach towards our goal. The latter teaches us the value of being bold enough to go with one’s gut feel, embrace a highly uncertain (and at times risky) outcome, the fine distinction between responding and reacting.

The choices we make and the chances we take always revolve around our core values and purpose. The universe aligns the decisions taken by chance with those made by choice. Makes one wonder when opportunities fall in one’s lap at the right place and time, in the larger scheme of things, is this a coincidence, magic, or just pre-connected dots!


About the Author: CA Abirami K, ACA, B.Sc Maths (Comp. Application)

A qualified Chartered Accountant working at a prominent bank as Relationship Manager in mid-Corporate Group. While pursuing graduation in Bachelor of Mathematics with Computer Application in PSG College of Arts and Science, Coimbatore, her interest toward accountancy prompted her to become a Chartered accountant. During her under-grad days, as a sergeant with the NCC, she led her contingent as Parade Commander. She represented her college for Best Cadet competition in Republic Day Training Camps.

After working with a software major for 1.5 years, her amiable nature made her switch gears to choose banking sector. Her belief in fitness (both physical and mental) sees her actively participating in marathons, while cycling extensively on weekends. She is part of the ‘Smiles that Shine’ on Sunday mornings through HAPPY STREETS, an event which encourages the public to come out onto the streets to socialize every Sunday morning through a wide array of activities. She has recently enrolled as a volunteer teacher with an NGO called U & I.

Wisdom from a humble farmer

In the words of the Agro Scientist, Masanobu Fukuoka, “The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings!”. Six years ago, I realised that plants and trees fascinate me more than debits and credits! And I shut shop, surrendered my Certificate of Practice and plunged into full time farming. Looking back, each day on my farm has been one of learning, and awakening.

Here are a few life-lessons I gleaned from my farm and my life in it:

1. Search for light:

The coconut trees on my farm grow tall on their own accord. Despite being a motivational speaker, not once have I given them a motivational talk on growing tall! They simply don’t need it. They grew not out of inspiration or competition, but out of their search for light!

Contrary to what most people think, we don’t need competition to grow in life! What we need is a constant search for light – the light of a higher purpose or meaning! Once we realise this, and once we find our higher purpose, we step out of the rat race and stop squandering our energy in comparison and competition. We can then channelise all our energy towards living our purpose!

2. Spread your roots:

Looking at the height of a coconut tree, most people would wrongly assume that the roots of this tall tree are really long and deep! “How else can it hold such a mighty tree intact?”, one would wonder!

It was when uprooting some old, barren trees that I awakened to reality! The roots of the coconut tree do not run very deep, but they run very long! The roots of one tree intertwines with the roots of another tree, thereby creating a strong web of roots! Together, they stand tall!

Being the social animals that we are, we can weather storms only if we have a strong support system! Begin spreading your roots on breezy days, so that they sustain you on stormy ones!

3. The trees speak:

My dad often tells me, “Spend enough time in the farm, and the trees will speak to you!” As a novice farmer, I brushed it off as insanity. But as years rolled by, and as I began spending enough time in the farm, the trees indeed began speaking to me!

In other words, as I began spending a lot of time in the farm, I began noticing even the minutest of details! I noticed the tint of the leaves, the moisture (or the lack of it) in the leaves, the size of the coconuts, the number of buds, etc.

If you want the trees of your profession to speak to you, please spend enough time there – both quantitatively and qualitatively.

4. Pinch the buds:

One practice that shocked me during my initial days of farming was pinching or removing the buds off baby plants… I considered this a sheer act of cruelty, until I was taught the science behind it. If a baby plant bears a lot of buds, much of the nutrients we give the sapling (baby plant) go towards feeding and sustaining the buds. And that results in nutrition deficiency which adversely impacts the growth of the plant. Until the plant grows tall and strong, growth should be the sole objective!

In our quest for growth, even early rewards or recognition can end up stunting our growth! Find the buds stunting your growth, pinch them off ruthlessly – even if it pains a little. You will then grow into a mighty tree!

5. The cows always know:

One legend that fascinated me as a novice farmer was that no coconut or coconut leaf has ever fallen on a cow! I have heard the elders in my village swear by it, “It has never happened! The cows always know intuitively, and they move away!”

The cows in my farm graze under the trees for at least eight hours a day, and I’ve never seen a coconut fall on a cow! Seems like they always know! I have however heard of plenty of incidents of coconuts falling on homo sapiens!

Reflecting on this, the only practical answer is this: the cows always know because they are always in the present moment! They are not thinking of sleeping or returning to their sheds while grazing…

If life throws lemons at you, you can make lemonade out of them. But if life throws coconuts at you, you need to learn to dodge them! The coconuts of life keep falling on us because we are lost in countless distracting thoughts… If we too learn to be 100% where we are, if we learn the art of mindfulness, then we too shall always know!

Conclusion:

A Zen master once kept pouring tea into an overflowing cup and the baffled student remarked, “Master! The cup is already full, you cannot pour more tea into it! Doing so will only cause a mess here!” The wise master then replied, “Precisely my point! If you are so full of yourself, how can I pour wisdom into you?”

Friends, nature is brimming with wisdom. If we can stand humbly and mindfully before it, it has so much to teach us! May we intertwine our roots and grow together in search of light!

 


About: Mr. P. Shandip Sabapathy,

Shandip Sabapathy, a Chartered Accountant by qualification, is currently a full-time farmer by passionate choice. Out of his fervent passion to study the human mind and behaviour, he did his Masters in Applied Psychology at Barathiar University after which he earned a certification on Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. He has contested and won numerous speech contests conducted by Toastmasters International, USA and has addressed over 1,00,000 people in the last decade. He is a faculty member at the Coimbatore branch of SIRC of ICAI since 2014 and mentors CA students to help them achieve academic excellence. He is the founding mentor of Chaplin Speakers Club, a public forum exclusively for students. He loves to read, travel, learn, and share knowledge.

He can be reached on : shandipspeaks@gmail.com

Are We Doing Charity The Right Way?

Of the many quotes I love, the following three have created a great impact within me:

1. Expectation is the root cause of all mental agony.
2. What goes around, comes around.
3. Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is giving!

I understood the true meaning of the first two quotes when I read a story about a saint in a book. Back in the 1970s, a saint was sitting with his disciples near a water body, discussing various topics. A businessman, who was an ardent devotee of the saint, came there. He said, “Guruji, this year, I made an enormous profit in my business, and I want to donate some of it to you”. He placed a huge bundle of cash at the saint’s feet. The saint looked at the money and then glanced up at the businessman. He once again looked down at the bundle and then up at the businessman who stood with folded hands in front of him. Reading the thoughts that were running through the businessman’s mind, to everyone’s surprise, he suddenly picked up the money and hurled it into the water.

His disciples were stunned but did not react as they knew that the saint had done this for a purpose. On the other hand, the expression on the businessman’s face immediately changed. Containing the streak of rage that ran through him, he asked the saint in a pained voice, “Guruji, how can such an enlightened soul like you do this? The money could have been used for various developmental activities of the ashram. Why did you throw the money into the water?”

The saint calmly looked at the man and asked him to summarise all that that happened. The businessman narrated the events. The saint asked him, “Did I receive the money from you?” to which the businessman replied, “Yes, you received it from me”. The saint then said, “As soon as I received the money from your hands, it became mine – to do whatever I would wish to do it. Why then are you still attached to it if it is charity?”

The businessman realised his mistake. Although he had physically parted with the money, he was still attached to it mentally (subtly). The saint had helped him realise that true charity is the one done without any attachment. The businessman apologised for his ignorance. The money was retrieved from the water, dried and then used for the intended purposes.

This story created a deep impact within me at a time when I was going through a particular phase in my life. Very often, we meet people who come to us seeking some assistance. We help them and feel quite pleased and regard ourselves as being their benefactor of sorts. After reading the story I realised that whatever one gives, it must be done wholeheartedly, without any expectation in return. The Universe is a meticulous accountant, it will keep a detailed account, tally and give it back in some other way. Our problem is that we expect it back from the same person whom we helped, and when there is no reciprocation, we feel let down.

Eventually, I did witness this pattern in my life. Whenever I share knowledge or help someone, I might not get anything in return, but later whenever I require assistance, the Universe will beautifully arrange the situations around me to make it happen. The two important aspects will be: (1) It might not be from the same person (whom) I helped earlier (2) It will not come back as soon as I helped/ shared. It takes its own sweet time, just to test my patience and detachment level. Ultimately, by the end of the day, I will have received what I need.

At times, one sees people publicise their deeds of charity. I feel it contradicts the third quote “Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is giving”. Once I was talking to one of my mentors who revealed a different paradigm to this quote. He said, “There can be another way of interpreting this quote. It does not literally mean that you must keep the deed as a secret from other people. There can be deeper meanings – the left hand refers to the ego and hence one is not supposed get into the egoistic feeling while donating. Also, when the wrong doers make so much noise regarding the wrong, the doers of good need to make noise about the good that they are doing! This will inspire others to do good and the positive noise will help drown the negative noise! However, the doer of good needs to ensure that he does not feed his ego by portraying himself as a benefactor”. This conversation with my mentor, along with the above story made me realise the profound lesson that if we are detached from our actions, we will not be disappointed or disheartened in anyway.

So, let’s be reassured that:

1. Expectation is the root cause of all mental agony.
2. What goes around, comes around.
3. Do not let your left hand (ego) know what your right hand (soul) is giving!

Our ancestors have said, “Generally whenever something is given, it’s quantity is reduced, but the one thing that multiples even when given is knowledge”. Hence with the above reassurances, let us share whatever we know with an open heart and let us make this world an insightful place to live in. Have a beautiful day.

 


About: Mr. Lakshmanan,

An Engineer turned Chartered Accountant who secured All India Rank-2 in CA Intermediate exams, he is a Chartered Accountant by profession and a speaker by passion. He is fascinated with the idea of integrating automation in workspace and works actively to do so. His passion to share knowledge and help people around him has led him to start various significant initiatives and virtual groups. He has addressed many CA students regarding improving their study techniques and personal productivity. He loves to read books from various genres, including self-help, biographies, and spirituality. His ability to decode and simplify concepts by applying humour and interesting stories makes him a sought-after speaker.

He can be reached on : lak93.7@gmail.com